Joke time!!! (not related to dota)

Joke time!!! (not related to dota)

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 4:34 am

SIR: Inday, c Sir mo 2..bangga kotse ko and i nid cash!
INDAY: Aru!!! dugo-dugo gang ka noh!
SIR: Gaga! c Sir mo talaga to!
INDAY: Gago! c Sir ang tawag saken CUPCAKE!!!!

KUTO1: do u hear me over?
KUTO2: copy!
KUTO1: location?
KUTO2: sa bulbol ni ma'am..ikaw?
KUTO1: tangina! magkatabi lng pala tayo. nand2 ko sa bigote ni sir!!!

Tatlong nagyayabngan na daga ...
Daga1: kakain ako ng keso na may rat-killer!
Daga2: ha!!! kakain ako ng keso sa mouse trap!!!
Daga3: tsk! tsk! tsk! manood kayo!!!! manrereyp ako ng pusa!!!

TEACHER: Anong mangyayari pag puputulin ang 1 mong tenga?
BOY: hihina po pandinig ko.
TEACHER: e kung dalawang tenga?
BOY: lalabo po paningin ko!
TEACHER: baket naman?
BOY: malalaglag po salamin ko.

Dalawang cra ulo....
CRA1: Magaling ka na ba?
CRA2: Oo namn!!!
CRA1: Talaga?...kaya mo bng 2mawid sa ilaw ng flashlight ko?
CRA2: Ano ko cra? e pano kung patayin mo flashlyt mo?...e d nalaglag pa
ko!!!

2 Patients are taking sperm count.....
(d nurse masterbates P#1 but sucksP#2)
While the nurse is doing the blow.....
P#1: Ba't blowjob sa kanya e samantalang sakin handjob lang?
NURSE: CASH ito noh!.... sayo PHILHEALTH lang!!!

Dalawang magkaibigan nagtetext....
PEPE: Tol! pasa load namn! 2pesos lang, my katx lng me.
Tol: cge. w8 lng.
(message sent)
Pepe: Tnx tol! bait mo talaga!
Tol: Gago! wag ka na magtex! sayang ung pinasa ko sayo!!!
Pepe: k.

GIRL: mag-69 tayo dear!!
BOY: pano un?
GIRL: ganito lang...
(pumuwesto na cla at biglang nautot ang girl ng 4 times)
BOY: Ayoko na!!! D KO NA KAYA UNG NATITIRA PANG 65!!!!

SON: dady...baket umuungol c mommy kagabi? my sakit ba cya?
DAD: wala anak... happy lng cya.
SON: ibig sabihin, gabi-gabi cyang hapi kahit nung nasa states ka pa?

ERAP: doc, i accidentally swallowed a chicken bone.
DOC: is it choking?
ERAP: it's max's.
DOC: i didnt mean chowking...i said, r u choking?
ERAP: no.. im serious!

YEAR 2005....
Prosti 1: sa sobrang hirap ng panahon ngaun,kahit 200 payag na ko.
Prosti 2: ako kahit 100..payag na!
Prosti 3: ako nga blowjob for free! may makain lng!!!

isang gabi...
WIFE: di ako makatulog dahil sa lamok. mag-SEX muna tayo!
HUSBAND: putragis! anong akala mo sa TITI ko?....katol!!!! matulog ka na!!!!

a man was cornered by a lion. he prayed..."Lord, pls make dis lion a
christian".
d lion suddenly knelt down and prayed....
LION: "bless this food that i'm about to receive thru Christ our LORD,
amen."

a priest lost a bird & asked during mass...
Priest: anyone got a bird?
all men stood up.
Priest: i mean, any1 seen a bird?
all women stood up.
Priest: i meant any1 seen my bird?
...all nuns stood up

ANAK: Dad! naka-experience na ko ng blowjob! yahoo!!!!
DAD: wow! anak!...binata ka na!!!anong feeling?
ANAK: ang sakit po sa panga!!!!

ATTY: Inday! pwede mo bng idiscribe d2 sa korte ang taong nangrape sayo?
INDAY: maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong at bungal...
SUSPEK: cge!!!!...mangasar ka pa!!!!

dalawang madre nirereyp ng goons....
Madre1: diyos ko! patawarin mo po cla...d nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa.
Madre2: ay yung sakin marunong!!!!

After having sex, panay pa rin ang hawak ng girl sa organ ng lalaki....
BF: Gusto mo pa ulit?
GIRL: hindi..namimiss ko lng.......meron kc ako nito dati e....

MRS: bilis dad! nahulog cel ko sa panty ko!!!! ..nagba-vibrate!!!
MR: e anong gagawin ko? kukunin ko sa panty mo?
MRS: gago!!!! kunin mo ung charger at baka malowbat!!!!

dumating c ngongo sa bahay at tinakpan ang eyes ni misis....
Ngongo: "nges hu?"....
MRS: gago!!!! pa-nges hu nges hu ka pa jan....e ikaw lng ngongo d2!!!!

a wife and husband fighting....
Wife: inamo!!!
Husband: inamo rin!!!
Wife: tarantado!
Husband: tarantado ka rin!!!
Wife: gago!!!
Husband: gago ka rin!!!
Wife: SUPOT!!!!
Husband: ......un nga lng...

Dentist & Lover....
Dentist: we have 2 stop seeing each other... halata na tayo ng MR mo.
Lover: but we love each other!
Dentist: oo nga...but were running out of excuses....ISA NA LNG IPIN MO!

Anak: nay!!! my mens na ko!
Nay: ano kulay...aber?
Anak: dark brown nay!
Nay: lintik na bata to!!!! LBM yan!!! hala..maghugas ka na ng pwet!
ambisyosong BAKLA to!!!

Sexy: Doc!! mainit pwet ko!
Doc: lagyan natin ng thermometer
Sexy: hiya ako e.
Doc: cge, off ko ilaw...
(in-off ilaw)
Sexy: Doc!!! hindi po pwet yan ha!!!
Doc: cge lang!!! di rin ito thermometer!!!!

Erap: lintek na ibon 2!! iniputan ako!
Bodyguard: sir, kukuha ako ng toilet paper...
Erap: wag na!! pano mo pa mapupunasan un e nakalipad na?! tanga!!! bobo!!!

news advisory:
AT LAST!!!... anewgeneration napkin has been made 2 "satisfy women"!!!
introducing....NEW WHISPER WITH TONGUE!!!!
.....keeps u wet..even when ur dry..

Arab interview at US immigration:
Q: ur name pls..
A: abdul aziz
Q: sex?
A: twice a wik..
Q: i mean male or female?
A: doesn't matter.... sometimes even with camel...

Patient: dok. malungkot d2 sa mental kaya naisipan kong sulatan ang sarili
ko...
Doc: e ano namn laman ng sulat mo?
Patient: d ko pa po alam kc next wik ko pa ata matatangap...

Jingoy: Dad, 22o bang may side effect ang *?
Erap: tanga! sa harap effect nyan hindi sa side!!!!

Wife: honey... bili mo naman ako ng bra...
Husband: Hon.. wag ka ng magbra...liit namn dede mo e..
Wife: (taas ang kilay) e baket ikaw nakabrief?!!

Convict: father...4give me 4 i have sinned...
Pari: sabihin mo lahat ng kasalanan mo anak.
Convict: father, pinatay ko lahat ng naniniwala sa diyos.kau ba
naniniwala
sa kanya?
Pari: CNO UN?

GIRL: Hide and seek tayo. if u find me, papayag akong makipag-sex sayo...
BOY: e kung di kita makita?
GIRL: nasa likod lng ako ng piano...

GIRL: ang puti naman ng bird mo...
BOY: aba syempre ah!!! likas papaya ata gamit ko jan!!!
GIRL: ginagamitan mo rin ba ng downy?
BOY: baket? bango ba?
GIRL: lambot e!!!

BINATA: mis, pede bang manligaw sayo?
DALAGA: at bakit?! may CRV ka ba? BMW? PAJERO? EXPEDITION?
BINATA: tangina!!! bakit?! ano ba yang PEKPEK mo!!!? PARKING LOT?!!!!!

u wont beliv wat things
people do these days...
i was sitting nxt
2 dis girl in church
& in the middle of the mass
she light a cigaret!

na-shock ako!!!!...

i almost drop my redhorse!!!!

Enjoy!!!

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Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 9:08 am

Suggested for people in the Philippines only
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 11:46 am

....nice jowk there sebspogi...!!! where did you get it??
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Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 3:30 pm

grabeh, halos lahat tungkol sa sex ha..... perv ka ba?????????
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Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 8:44 am

for adults only.....^_^
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Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 12:39 am

I want a translator
lol
long jokes are usually interesting :P

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Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 9:39 am

hmm.. translator?? need translator... XD
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:21 am

nce 1 natwa tlga ako dun.... hahahaha
nkktawa tlga pag pinoy gumawa...
_________________
""~Hitokiri Battousai~""

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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 9:26 am

well i could read that but im sure its funny

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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:06 am

yeah its really funny
_________________
""~Hitokiri Battousai~""

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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 1:28 am

erm isn't there a rule saying that all posts must be in english or somthin' like that?
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 4:13 pm

god damn pinnoys i wanna hear in english!
bakalat

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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 3:58 am

ahem,,ahem.. for adult only...


no..wait..*i'm only 15*


*run away*
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