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good one for a beginner 43% [ 7 ]


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The Assassin's Wrath - Chapter 2 Released

Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 6:35 am

INTRODUCTION

He woke up. He was surprised. He thought that he was dead. But.. he's still alive now. How come? said his heart.

Before he cooled down from his surprise, came his master. The Lich King. A being filled with the essence of evil ice. It is said that he had no mercy to the Night Elf, the race of nature. He wanted to destroy them, and his ice was deadly enough to wreck havoc. But he also did not want to reveal his true power. So he created a similiar being to him (named Kel'Thuzad the Lich) to lead the Undead Army letting the Sentinel think that Lich was the real leader. But, of course The Lich was weaker than his own master, The Lich King.

"Anub'arak. I have just resurrected you from death."

So Anub'arak recognized everything. He was sent to a mission that he himself even didn't know. But, when he was in the mission, he was killed by a Night Elf. But, the Lich King did.. what he said. lol

"Thank you master for.."
"NO need to thank me!" said the Lich King rudely.
"You have just failed me, you must know it.."

Anub'arak could speak no words. He was speechless. He knew, that, if he was not loyal to his master, he would never come alive now. Indeed.

"I hate anybody thanking me in words! Instead, do anything I command to you!!!"
Silent.
"What do you want for me, master?"
"It's obvious. You must be my warrior, fighting the Night Elf!"
Silent again.

He knew that he was a feared assassin in the nature lane. Any hero of the Sentinel fears his unexpected coming from the shadow, impaling and burning his prey in instant. His spiked armor was also painful against the close-combat fighters. That's his powers.

"So what's your decision? Take it or leave it?!"
Silent.. again.
"..yeah. I accept." said the Nerubian Assassin after thinking for a while.

But he also had his own reason. He knew that, during the failed mission, his loved Black Arachnia the Broodmother was also killed. He wanted to avenge her death, especially after the children she gave.

"Okay. Now let's move!" commanded the Lich king.
"Alright, master." replied Anub'arak.

He's now angry, to the enemy. His moving was vengeful. His action was filled with great vengeance to the Night Elf. No prey will have an escape to tell the tale of the assassin's wrath.

No mercy for you!! said the lone heart of the Nerubian Assassin.

-----

That's the introduction of my fanfic, about the Nerubian Assassin. Btw this is my first fanfic, so I must make a mistake somewhere. Your feedbacks are welcome much! Maybe I'll add something to the introduction later.

Oh and I wouldn't be able to post the next chapters soon. have released the Chapter 2, after some laziness :p.

Have fun!
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F---ing terrorists have wtfpwned Indonesia and MU... bah

MS word broken T_T gonna rush my guide after it's fixed @_@
My July GC entry

Last edited by last_dota_freak! on Wed Apr 08, 2009 12:29 am; edited 2 times in total

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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 6:41 am

very nice keep it up
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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 6:41 am

cool .. i like it ..
move on to the next chapter or story dude .
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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 6:45 am

Pretty good. I'm guessing English isn't ur first language coz the grammar and sentence structures aren't as clean as it shud be. But other than that good job!
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--Voting begins Nov 22--
Keep the entries coming!

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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 6:55 am

very good. Pls. continue it.
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Will be back at sig making when I regained my skills
"Love makes Life complicated"

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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 7:06 am

Well done!
I'll going 2 wait 4 the next chapter.
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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 7:13 am

this makes me want to play lich lolz
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ghost is hawt

http://www.dotastrategy.com/forum/ftopic23712.html

why whyy whyy!

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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 7:27 am

@ Vertigo23, Nooby_killer, warcrack000 and [GOD]zilla
tnx

@ reiva00
you're right XD

@ wHyy


btw i'm currently running out of ideas for the next chapter .
so you guys just have to wait read this ^^
until then, cheers

ps. SOMEONE REPLY THIS SO I DON'T NEED TO DOUBLE POST !!

oh and welcome to ds Vertigo23, warcrack000 and [GOD]zilla wHyy
(just recognized that they are new comers )
_________________
F---ing terrorists have wtfpwned Indonesia and MU... bah

MS word broken T_T gonna rush my guide after it's fixed @_@
My July GC entry

Last edited by last_dota_freak! on Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:30 am; edited 1 time in total

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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 4:05 pm

When i saw the name of the story, i thought this'll be a rip-off of my ''The Satyr's Wrath'' :P
But it wasn't, gj.
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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 7:05 pm

You have a good story going along so far. If you describe things a bit more and create some atmosphere it will make you fan fics alot better.
Good work so far.
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Love my girlfriend.
Add my msn. devran.babat@btinternet.com
R.I.P Michael Jackson.
If some bitch dare challenge me at 1v1, click the link!
http://www.dotastrategy.com/forum/sutra460318.html#460318]

"The warrior does not question, does not ponder, does not pontificate. The warrior simply does." Conan the Barbarian.
I will be gone at the end of October, don't ask me again.

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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:37 pm

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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:41 pm

Yeah where's the battle?
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The Assassin's Wrath - Chapter 1 - The Bouncing Ice

Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:20 am

@ Floor and Blood Hunter
tnx

@ AmC-DotaAddict
i know, i know :p

@ Ace.MasTeR
later i'll add the battle part.
but must it be in the earlier?


---

Chapter 1 - The Bouncing Ice

Anub'arak was moving ahead to the battlefield, but the Lich King stopped him.

"Stop!" yelled him.
"Why the hell are you master telling me to stop?" said the confused Anub'arak. Then he continued, "My power is ready to wreck havoc! My might cannot be matched !"
"You know exactly no thing," said the Lich King. "Do you want to die again in the battlefield, you assassin?!"
"ARE YOU AFRAID OF THEM!!" Anub'arak became furious.
"As I said, you know nothing. Your power isn't enough yet this time. You must have some training before moving in to the battlefield," said The Lich King, now with calm sound.
"Okay. I will train, and, after 2 days, come here," said Anub'arak.
"Do you want to have a fight with me?"
"Exactly! But give me some time."
"You request, you get it."
Then the Lich King went out of the place.

Anub'arak became invisible and went to his own place, his great training place. He promised to himself that he would defeat the Lich King, and he would kill him if it's the only way.

*3 days later*

Anub'arak was waiting in the same place. He wanted the Lich King to show up. He wanted to kill him. And I will be the leader of the great Undead, said his heart.

Anyway during the training he'd got some rewards for killing the servants, and he used the gold to buy a demonic book he didn't use yet. He knew that the legendary book contained a mystical and demonic force within; a powerful malefic force is locked within its pages . None could withstand it. He took a look at the book's cover, and he could read it clearly: NECRONOMICON .

With this kind of book I'll win this pathetic fight, said his heart again.

To his surprise came an icy being. At the first look Anub'arak thought that it was the Lich King. But, he took a closer look.. the being with seemingly smaller force, his face that were not as intimidated as usual, and there wasn't any crown on his head..

"You're NOT the Lich King!!" shouted Anub'arak afterwards.
"Of course it's not him. It's me," replied the being.
"So who are you?!"
"Don't you know who I am?"

Silent again.. and Anub'arak finally recognized that he was Kel'Thuzad, the Lich. A creature (as the writer told to the readers) with similiar yet smaller ice force than the Lich King himself.

"Dammit you underestimate me!!!" cried the Nerubian Assassin, again.
"SHUT UP!!!" suddenly the Lich King took control of the Lich's body and rage, and began to speak through his mouth.
"YOU HAVE FAILED ME!!" continued the Lich King, with a deep sound.

Anub'arak was surprised, and at this moment he felt that the Lich King would unleash his mighty ice.

"YOU MUST EAT THE ICE!!"
"KEL'THUZAD, FIGHT HIM!!"
"Yes, master."
"BUT DON'T.."

Anub'arak's feet were shaking now. He was really afraid of the Lich (King)'s wrath. He didn't even hear the last word of the Lich King. But, he tried to defeat his fear of the Lich King.

"Yes, master. Exactly as you want."

Now the battle would start after Lich King had left the Lich's body..

"What's going on, Anub'arak, the Nerubian Assassin?" said the Lich again, now with a rather underestimating sound.
"Where is your wrath?" he continued.
"Or maybe you'd rather die as the pathetic spider?"

Hearing the last word the Lich spoke, Anub'arak instantly became furious.

"Yes, the hopeless eight-foot Black.."

BAM! Anub'arak immediately shooted spike through the ground, impaling the Lich to the air, and making him feel some pain upon landing. Thus, it is right that when threatened, he shoots these spikes through enemies maiming and disorienting them .

"Never ever say my love's name again!!" shouted him before he was lost to the shadow. He used his Vendetta now.

The Lich had just recovered from the Impale. Now he created an icy armor. It is said that the armor hurts any close-combat attackers.

Finally! The battle has started!

Anub'arak was coming closer to Lich; he was in the Lich's rear now.

BAM! Anub'arak immediately broke his Vendetta, causing severe damage to Lich. (at the same time he got slowed due to the Frost Armor) And now he took his demonic book, saying,
"Necronomicon! May you unleash the demonic creatures within! Come be my servants!!"
And now it was 1v3: The Lich King vs Anub'arak and 2 Necrowarriors. Charge!!

"Wuahahaha!!" laught the Lich.
"You simply underestimate me!! You fool, die!!" shouted him again.

The Lich took a yellow-glowing jewel from his pocket, immediately using it. The Assassin was surprised that any damage he dealt before could be healed in such an instant action. He totally forgot the power of Mekansm which is said to protect its bearer from danger .

The Lich took another thing, now a scythe, from his pocket. Right, that's the Guinsoo's Scythe of Vyse, largely known as the Sheepstick.

He used it to Anub'arak, and BAM, the feared Assassin turned into a helpless sheep. This kind of assassin should not be feared, even by a just-born baby.

And now the Lich raised his hand, targeting a strong ice nova on to Anub'arak. Blast!
But that was only minor action, for the Lich's real power had not been unleased yet.

Now the Lich prepared for the feared bouncing ice. Oh noes!! said Anub'arak's heart. This would be a massacre; the famous and feared Chain Frost was about to start.

Targeting Anub'arak as the first target, the Lich filled with great anger threw the ice ball to Anub'arak.

"Wuaaahhh!! FOR THE LICH KING'S NAME !!!"
First hit. Anub'arak received an undescribable pain to his body.
Second hit, third hit, fourth hit. The Necrowarriors died in instant.
Fifth, sixth, seventh.. what a great pain.
Lich attacked once, and Anub'arak death was only as far as one more physical attack.

Would this be my end? said his heart, with a shaking sound bouncing within.

Suddenly...

*end of Chapter 1*


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F---ing terrorists have wtfpwned Indonesia and MU... bah

MS word broken T_T gonna rush my guide after it's fixed @_@
My July GC entry

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Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 6:40 am

seems like none respond
T.T
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F---ing terrorists have wtfpwned Indonesia and MU... bah

MS word broken T_T gonna rush my guide after it's fixed @_@
My July GC entry

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Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 2:24 am

haha patience my friend!

pretty good so far! i like it, especially the usage of quote and stuff

but yeah, like what everyone else said, grammar and more descriptions/depth will make this better ^^
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