How is it??

No ending time set.
Good, you should keep going on 77% [ 81 ]


Average, still readable 22% [ 23 ]

Posted on Sun May 17, 2009 3:35 pm

You're story seems like a plot for a movie or a manga.






















AWESOME!!!!!
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Posted on Sun May 17, 2009 11:43 pm

E
P
I
C


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Posted on Mon May 18, 2009 12:07 am

very nice. keep going ^_^
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Posted on Mon May 18, 2009 8:06 am

Chapter 5 Prison Break (part 1)

“So, what took you so long?”

“The fall was needed, it has been too long, I haven’t trained for too long, the bounty hunter will not die today.” said the exhausted Gondar.

“I knew you could make it, not a doubt.”

“It would be safer for you to have at least tried, what if I haven found that piece of jagged stone and fell to my death.”

“You’re being dramatic, unlike yourself,”

“It happens when you expect your entire life to flash in front of your eyes and the expectation is too high till it brings you down when it does not occur,”

“Looks like your back to your old self, was afraid you become a little bit paranoid after that fall.

“Let’s climb on, how far left.”

“No, we stop here, now is the second part of the plan I have not told you, from my previous attempts to escape, I’ve found that getting spotted by one of the trained sentinel guards is rather unnecessary, which leads being shot by arrows and falling down to the cell, half dead.”

“So, how do we evade them, is that another route? A hole from this wall of some sort?” asked Gondar.

“No, there is no other way, I’m sure of it, the only way is for your invisibility capabilities to come in and help.”

“What? Have you forgotten I’m bound by this dungeon to use my wind walk?”

“There it is,” said Razzil after rummaging through his sack. It looked like a bottle with white and translucent liquid trapped within. “I give you, the Liquid of Transparency, it changes the user invisible passively, unable to be bound by this dungeon,”

“Why don’t you do it?” asked Gondar suspiciously.

“You have wind walk for decades, but you want me to do it? Use your head for once,” said Razzil angrily with his squeaky ogre’s voice.

Gondar being a bit humiliated by his unneeded question poured the liquid over his head, it was little, but it soon covered his entire body, it felt rather heavy and it wasn’t watery nor was it sticky. It wasn’t long till he was invisible again, it felt good after so long.

“You have five minutes to stop the guard before the liquid wares off, it wares off slowly, so you should be able to know when. Now go, quick.”

Climbing, it looks like excitement had took over his exhaustion, his saw the top, where the ceiling was looked like a silver colored dome with cobwebs even older than himself. A sentinel guard, he was an elf; the expression on his face clearly showed his shift was almost over, where he shall return for some well-needed rest.

Gondar climbed over the edge carefully, not wanting to touch the guard looking at the darkness below, thoughts flash through his mind, “What should I do, I couldn’t push him of the edge, he would die unknowingly and innocently,” Gondar thought, he could never do that to a person, a Sentinel.

So, Gondar slowly knocked him out, carefully put him well on the floor, as he notice the invisibility was warring off, he hoped this was the only guard on the shift, if not, the escape plan is ruined. By luck, Gondar found that the other guards left this guard on duty only as he called for Razzil to climb up.

“Now the hard part,”

Gondar felt his muscle twitching; this prison break thing wasn’t as easy as it sounds.
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Posted on Mon May 18, 2009 8:46 am

please post the next chapter asap!!!!its great!!!

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Posted on Mon May 18, 2009 10:22 am

what he said
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Posted on Mon May 18, 2009 11:41 am

@dohyun
mwahahahahaha.. so i see my evil nemesis has new plots to take over eh?
@writer
very nicely written.. and your fast and prompt.. makes your fanfic even more exciting
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Posted on Mon May 18, 2009 10:22 pm

lol, ur fighting me in every fan fic?!?!?1 MADNESS

anyways, cant wait for the next chapter! hope it comes soon ^^
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Posted on Mon May 18, 2009 11:58 pm



i'm fighting you till the end
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Posted on Tue May 19, 2009 7:58 am

Chapter 6 Prison Break (part 2)

He started panting, a sign that he was out of shape. The worst state he has ever been during a stealth mission. He didn’t understand the second part of this plan, the need to save Razzil’s goblin was a little bit unnecessary, but Razzil insist.

“Oh no, something is wrong,” said the alchemist suddenly, with an expression that scared the bounty hunter.

“What, what is it?” not wanting the plan to fail after climbing a 100 feet.

“Nothing, I was bored.” said the alchemist in a calm fashion.

Gondar did not want to raise his temper, because he needed the alchemist to guide him out, but more jokes like this and he may even murder. This was not the time to be kidding around, another leader was to be killed, the Sentinel might even lose this war. Zeus, representative of the humans of the Sentinel, never trusts Gondar, as with the need for a spy for the Scourge, Zeus gladly agreed as it would bring the bounty hunter far away from him, Gondar never knew why Zeus despised him more than some of the orc brutes. With the death of Furion, the representative of the night elves, leaving Chen the representative of the orcs with Zeus to help win this war, Gondar hoped that the new election of the representative would finish sooner, many lives hang between this war.

As they turned right and into a corridor filled with normal cells filled with the normal prisoners, but one of them caught Gondar eyes. “Balanar, your cell looks better than mine, mine was much worst,” intimidating the night stalker,

“You will pay once I get out of these chains and bars, no one insults the night stalker,” roared Balanar.

“These chains bound you from using your powers and the ceiling your in is layered with powder which creates the same amount of sunlight during the day, weakening you furthermore.” said the bounty hunter proudly, as he was the one who put him in this designated cell. It was one of the most talked about fights in history, a bounty hunter against the night stalker, thought Gondar, he won that fight and ever since, the feared, dangerous night stalker was in the Sentinel’s dungeon.

“You could stay here, I’m doing this alone.” said Razzil as he ran across the corridor which was filled with pleads of help from the prisoners.

“So, heard you killed Furion, miss the old days as a Scourge?” said Balanar.

“Only fools challenge my loyalty, it was Motred’s doing and I intend to fix the crisis the Sentinel face from his death.” said Gondar, the bounty hunter notice how much Balanar’s word were, it was piecing thought his strong but weaken heart.

“If you’re so loyal, why escape, stay as a prisoner forever, as what a loyal Sentinel prisoner would do,” further hurting the bounty hunter with words.

“Hoped you rot in here forever,” cursed Gondar while he walks on to check on the alchemist.

A body fell on the floor where Gondar’s feet were placed as the bounty hunter was turning to the next corridor. It felt slippery and slimy, as he noticed her face, Slithice, the shock came quick and fast. The alchemist stood there with a bottle of chemicals in his hand, with a goblin sitting on top of his head.

“What……”

“Shhhh, don’t wake her up, she could endanger our plan, now lets go, I’ll explain on the way. Oh, this is my goblin friend, and assistant, Gold Picker, needed him to unlock the rooms where our stuff is kept.”

They ran on, evading every single guard with astounding stealth, avoiding anyone but them, as Razzil slowly explain how Slithice foiled his past plans to escape with her alluring song. Soon they reached their destination after passing the steps of this underground dungeon. “Armory” was what was written in bold red on the sign hanging above them. There they saw almost every Sentinel’s weapon, equipment and artifacts, from Swen’s hammer to Huskar’s enchanted spears, it was amazing it was so organized, being it run by dwarfs.

There Gondar saw his twin blades, forged by the famous Dranei blacksmith, Nikathar, made from the rarest metals known to his people, spilled blood of many races. Touching them, cause Gondar to abilities to wind walk to return to its former powers, he felt great and ready. He turned to the alchemist, who was picking through the stack of weapons under “Dangerous”, “Are we leaving soon, sooner or later a dwarf is going to come in and spot us,” As Gondar finished, a dwarf came in right on queue and started running put of the room to sound the alarm.

It sounded like a horn was blown, it wasn’t loud but it was clear enough to warn the ever guard of the dungeon. Without Gondar’s words, Razzil already took what he wanted and pull Gondar out of the room and up the stairs to escape before their plan ultimately fails.
The race to the gates begun.
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Last edited by Hacker21110 on Thu May 21, 2009 9:58 am; edited 1 time in total

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Posted on Tue May 19, 2009 8:31 am

Nice Personally, BH is my favourite hero and I love how you've really brought out the character within him. Only flaw about this fanfic is the occasional typos, but still, well done !
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Posted on Sat May 23, 2009 7:58 am

Chapter 7 Prison Break (part 3)

Footsteps, they were near, they knew where to look of the escapees, they are fast, the thrill was coming to Gondar, it was fun, adrenaline pumping through his vein, the change of a stealth mission to a race.

Razzil handed a sack to Gondar; a sack containing enchanted especially shurikens for a bounty hunter like him, he needed to visit his people, he notice how little shurikens he was running on, but for this occasion, it sufficed.

Going higher and higher, never going downstairs, not a sight of a single guard, maybe this would be easy, boring. That was when the fun started, the first guard appeared, but he wasn’t like any of the earlier guard they both saw, the guard was an ursa, most likely brought by the Ursa Warrior, they were always feared when traveling as they have lightning fast reflexes which could inflict multiple strikes even on a giant within seconds.

“This is bad, I’ve seen him before, filled with rage, something was wrong with him so he could have a rank, the last time I’ve met him, he left me with an open gut, wasn’t a sight to see.” said the alchemist while trembling. Gondar knew trouble had come in his path, not the first time and it won’t be the last time.

Not wasting time to intimidate or insult his skilled opponent, he threw two shurikens from his sack; the ursa took a step and was caught by the two shurikens which pierce though his tough and hard skin, leaving scars over his left arm, but he it didn’t stop him from running angrily towards the bounty hunter, ready to draw blood straight from his heart.

He had quite agile for an ursa, Gondar doubt Ulfasaar had that type of mobility, he came in front of Gondar in seconds, lifting his oversized hand. That was all the warning Gondar needed, he train with the skills of Jinada, evaded the attack sequence of the ursa with ease. Razzil, not wanting to be nag afterwards for not lifting a finger started mixing chemicals passed around by the goblin above him. The unstable concoction, it what he like to call it, able to freeze a person stone cold for quite a while as it messes up the body structure of the victim. Thought it takes time and proper skills, the results were beneficial. With the ursa focus on Gondar, the shot was a sure bull’s-eye.

The ursa, for once I his entire life, felt calm; instant he fell asleep after hit by the alchemist’s unstable concoction. Without the time to pat each other on the back for a job well done, they saw the Sentinel guards pour in.

They ran up the stairs, taking two steps at a time, only a few more floors till they reach ground. More and more guards came, Gondar, knowing that they would soon outrun and out number them, wind walked and stayed behind, “Go, get to the gate, I’ll catch up,”

The alchemist, seeing no reason is disagreeing did not give a reply and continuing running. Gondar saw the guards; there were six of them, all were human knights, armed with thick armor and claymores. He may outmatch them, the humans walked past the invisible bounty hunter, not stopping at all till Gondar broke his invisibility by backstabbing the knight in front of him, knocking the knight unconscious right away, five left, all turned towards him, in a triangular battle formation with the biggest of them in front, Gondar hold his stance, analyzing his current situation, they were closing in on the bounty hunter, step by step, cornering Gondar to a wall.

He couldn’t strike all, his only chance is to have a distraction giving him a chance to wind walk. The five guards started lifting their claymores up, Gondar, ready to fend them off. Them it came, a bottle with a stopper that fell out of it fight after it went below the guards’ feet.

Instincts, covering his nose and mouth, he wind walked and started to run to see alchemist calling to him. Both smiled and together they ran to the gates about to close, leaving the five guards to suffer from the acidic gases of Razzil.

The cold breezing air, they have reached the courtyard, before continuing towards the huge sliding gates of the Sentinel high security dungeon, Gondar can’t help but take a breath and look at the amazing view of the sky above, painted with clouds of grey with light-yellow shading beneath. Forever remembering this moment by this view, the bounty hunter followed the alchemist to face any guards at the gate.

It was huge, it was large, it was sturdy, and it was closing. Sliding slowly, leaving only a gap of 10 feet or so, there it stood. Resisting a siege would be easy for this mighty gate; it has a history of thirty long years, one of the reasons that none have escape from this dungeon. They’re close, only several feet away, escaping is within their grasped, but suddenly a figure appeared right in front of them, Gondar turned invisible in a split second to be safe.

The figure looked huge, almost Razzil’s size, a tauren. It was Raigor, the earthshaker, he was right in between them and the gate. Gondar tried to take him out, but spotted a green emerald before doing so, the Gem of True sight, and next to it was Kelen’s Dagger of Escape. Raigor has become a hard opponent to defeat in this situation where time was on the earthshaker’s side. Gondar said it aloud, “All this for two sentinel convicts?”
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Posted on Sat May 23, 2009 3:41 pm

AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nice stuff ^^ cant wait for the next chapter! hope to see more epic events
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Posted on Sat May 23, 2009 4:17 pm

speechless. hooked.

go on :P
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Nice :)

Posted on Mon May 25, 2009 11:28 am

Well written. But I would suggest not keeping too long a gap between episodes cause people mite lose interest . Keep writing

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