Beast of Trolls- A True Berserker
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Beast of Trolls- A True Berserker
Posted on Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:45 amHi!! This is my first FanFic I hope U will appreciate
Chapter One
-I am a Troll
As Furion and his generals Kardel Sharpeye the Sniper and Zeus the Lord of Olympia recruiting other warriors from different parts of Azeroth, they found the Berserker's Tribe of Trolls near the abandoned castle of Leoric.
"What can I do for you Druid?" said Kah'Zarad, the famous Berserker who fought against the Burning Legion in the Early Days... "I wish to recruit warriors for war against Lich King and his armies of undead the for freedom of Azerot." replied Furion..
"I see, but we trolls don't care about the world tree or the Frozen Throne, so i reject.." soft spoken of the Elder Troll.
"It's not just about the World Tree neither The Frozen Throne, Its for the peace between Clans and Worlds in and Beyond Azeroth, we soon must end the chaos brought by the undead, else they will overcome everytrhing, even you trolls!" consively replied by the most keen eyed sniper Kardel..
Suddenly a young troll berserker interfered..
"Jebute, old man what do we have here, a druid and too small dwarves." the young troll said..
"What attitude you have boy!" zeus spoke in angry voice.. "Jah'rakal! your not suppose to interfere in conversation like this!! They are here to recruit warriors that will be loyal in their battle against the undeads." Kah'Zarad replied to his men..
"I see, the unholy army. Hey Druid, are these undead truly a match for us? Jah'rakal said
"The Lich King blesse then power of unholy darkness, and their other generals have natural skills. And as you have spoken, are you a skilled troll? Furion quily replied.
"He is the youngest warlord of our clan. But he is hotheaded and a trashtalker. But a truly beast in the battlefield, he is the reason why we have won our battle against the Nerubians." Kah'Zarad proudly replied
"So he is the one they said that Pawned the Assasin and Champions of the Nerubians, I see, Boy would you show us you skill?" In a soft voice sain the sniper.
"Shut up. I'm not in the mood. Ok, elder i ask your permission to let me leave ou village to join the war and show the world who are the strongest warriors in the world." saind Jah'rakal.
"Make me proud" said Kah'Zarad..
And so Jah'rakal joined the Sentinel..
As they go back in their base, they had some conversation..
"Hey little old guy with the rifle, are you the one they call the Sniper?" said Jah'Rakal
"Watch your mouth, I might shoot you, Yes I am, my name is Kardel Shapeye" in a proud voice replied the Litlle Guy
While they are walking, A sudden ambush of the undead occured..
"WHAT THE!!! Furion, There are ghouls everywhere" In a shocked voice of Zeus
"Everyone take cover" said Furion
"Hey, the three of, didn't you say you want to see me in battle, this is a great chance" said Jah'Rakal
Jah'rakal was gone onto a Rampage, he striked faster than lightning, In seconds, the wave of ghouls were savaged by the beast of Trolls...
Then Jah'rakal proudly said
"What do you think, isn's my Red Hands cool?"
Back in the Sentinel's Base
"My comrades, I would like to introduce our new warrior"
Said Furion
"A troll eh, is he a skilled one??" Asked by the Warchief of the centaurs.
"Wanna have some piece of a troll berseker?" Jah'rakal quicly replied
"You Have some guts, Watch your words or else. I am Bradwarden, do you think you'll stand a chance against me, huh little boy?" said the mighty Centaur
"Let's just see about it" Jahrakal in a Trashtalk mode
END OF CHAPTER ONE..
hope you liked it[/code]
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I think it lacks some more sophisticated words.
I like the way you show Jah'rakal's attitude though.
So it's not bad for me: 7/10 for me.
You have some typos and grammar errors btw, reread and you'll see.
PEACE
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Yeah i saw it, well its my first fanfic
my fingers are shakin when i was typing
Ill try to be more creative in the next chaper
^^
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Ok goodluck on your next chapter.
Make sure you don't rush and reread everything!
I'll be waiting!
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Chapter 2
-The First Quest
"Bradwarden, control your temper. It's not right to welcome members in such way you are doing. He might quit and cry if you will hurt him" a sudden interferance of the Juggernaut, Yurnero..
"So your back from your quest, how is the village of kobolds?" said the mighty centaur
"The Undeads ravaged their lands, they said one geomancer double crossed them. The survivors said that the traitor was the son of their chief, but he differ from other kobolds in color, the geomancer was purple in color and has a uniqe powers to create clones and to teleport." in a voice so soft replied the Juggernaut
"Oh, poor kobolds, where are the survivors now?" asked Bradwarden
The Juggernaut quickly replied and said "They are hiding in a forest nearby our camps, they did not to build another village feared to be ravaged again. But they have an underground place where they store their foods"
Jah'rakal quickly interfered in their conversation "And who in the world are you?"
Yurneno replied "So you don't know me. I am Yurnero, The Juggernaut. And why such a rude mouth of yours being accepted by Furion in the Sentinel? What if I just cut off your cocky hair so your manners become better, or maybe your tongue should be sliced so no more trashtalk!"
And so did Jah'rakal introduced himself to Yurnero "Is that so, then let me introduce my self to you. My name is Jah'rakal of the Troll's Berserker's Tribe, my comrades often called me 'THE BLINDING AXE. And if you I will take both of you and the 'Giant Cow' out"
Both of the two Sentinel warrior got their patience to the limit. Then Yurnero Furiously jumped with his words
"You really have some guts to talkin' to us like that. Now Taste my Blade!! YARHH!!"
As hearing the noise Furion quickly stoped Yurnero's blade.
"You three men are allies! Your not enemies so stop this nonsense on once!!
Bradwarden go back to your army now. I need to talk with Yurnero, and Bradwarden, The Troll Warlord will be a part of your troop, Jah'rakal follow Bradwarden in their camp." said Furion
"What the hell do you mean? I follow orders from the centaur? Oh hell no!"
said Jah'rakal in an arguing voice
"HAHAHAHA! Misfortune is upon you young Troll. I'm warning you, I don't need mouth in my army, I only need warriors" In a quick laugh of the Centaur.
"Enough Words!! Do as I say now!!" in angered voice of Furion.
Yurnero and Furion went to the waterfalls near at the ancient protector.
"Yurnero, I heard you have faced Mogul Khan again in the former Land of Kobolds. What happened?" asked Furion
"I nearly slaughtered him if it wasn't that stupid Anub'arak backstabed me then impaling me in the air, giving them time to escape. GRRRRRRR! Next time I meet him I will bring his head and axe to you." In angered voice of Yurnero. And Furion was sad to know what happened "Don't let hatred drive you to rage Yurnero, remember the time when Mogul Khan was fighting in our side and how well both of you fought undeads."
Yurnero quickly stood up and said "He betrayed us!!! And I will bring my words to reality, no one should dare stand in my path or else! They will the first to taste the Rage of my blade! But do not worry, I won't put judgement for his soul in my hands, Elune will be the one who will judge his blood shredding soul"
Then an exhausted dryad quickly came and said "Lord Furion, I have a bad news for you". Furion go near the dryad and asked her "What is it?"
"My master, there are an army of ghouls coming to attack one of the Ancient Lands of the Sentinel in the southern Azeroth. Our Treants aren't powerful enough to defend because there are two Generals of the Scourge with the ghouls" said the dryad
Furion quickly teleported to their camp and reporting what is happening in the Southern Gate.
"Bradwarden get you troops ready, you will go there to aid the treants" a quick command from Furion
"Good to hear that, Its been while since I slaughtered a ghoul. Hey Jah'rakal come with us so you can prove yourself to me, or maybe you are scared.." said Bradwarden
"Your lucky you are my ally, if not I might have been already sent you to Elune" said Jah'rakal
"Enough! They need you help, go there now! Move Fast" said Furion
When Bradwarden and his army of treants reached the South Gate, they see the ghouls taking control over the land alongside with two undead generals namely Magnus the Magnataur and Strygwyr the feared Bloodseeker.
"Oh look whos here Strygwyr, If it is not our old friend Bradwarden" said the Magnataur
"Inside that mammoth body is tons of blood! I will take him down and then suck his blood. He will fit my dinner for today" said the Bloodseeker
"My axe will be enough to make both of you shut up!" As Bradwarden charged toward both of them.
Bradwarden swung his mighty axe in such force causing both of them to fall down. He swiftly stomped the ground causing both of the undead generals to stay down giving time for him finish both of them. But the two managed to hide in the fog of war and use their salves to recover.
"What cowards!! Show yourselves!" said Bradwarden
In just few seconds, Magnus showed up then sending a massive shockwave toward Bradwarden. But the mighty centaur was too tough, the wouldn't even make him move backward.
"Do you call that an attack? That just tickled me, I shall show you a true attack. WARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The centaur charged at Magnus. But suddenly, as Bradwarden charged, blood spilled out of him sending him in deep pain. "Centaur your forgetting about me" in a laughing voice of Strygwyr.
The centaur stood still to prevent loss of more blood but suddenly, a magnetic force sucked him causing him to come near Magnus.
"I should have known!!" centaur said
As Magnus rise his halberd, ready to kill Bradwarden, an axe striked him in his body, causing him to move backward. Then its Bloodseeker's turn to stab Bradwarden. Then a young troll somersaulted at the front of Bradwarden with a smiling face, he blinded Bloodseeker.
It was none other than Jah'rakal
"Sorry I'm late, I have to finish my meal ^^"
THE END OF CHAPTER TWO
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You have an excellent story. But. Your English grammar and vocabulary is somewhat lacking. I would like you to take note on how you use all the names, you could replace some of them with pronouns. Its kinda difficult to read your story like that.
If you can change your writing style, I'm sure this will turn out a brilliant fanfic.
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Thx.... I'll try on my next chapter
P.S-don't expect too much from me yet..
Im just 13 yrs old, 1st yr hs boy though
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Nice story, I love the development
Jah'rakal sounds like some punkd-a** kid :P
Good job, keep it rolling!
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Hahaha..
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Chapter 3
-The Battle Trance
"ARGHH! My eyes, I can't see anything." cried Strygwyr
"Who are you?!" asked Magnus
Jah'rakal wasted no time, he retrieved his throwing axe from Magnus' body. Then introducing himself "I'am Jah'rakal, can I now start reaping both of you?"
"Huh, A troll berserker. How come you are with the Sentinel? I thought you trolls didn't want to serve the Sentinel neither do us. But nevermind, I will welcome you to this war with my wrath. Eat this shockwave" said Magnus while sending a massive shockwave, a bigger one compared to the last he released
But Jah'rakal easily avoided it.
"Hmmm, I see your fast compare to the other trolls i have faced earlier in the Reign of Chaos. But that doesn't matter, your no match for me" a confident speaking of Magnus
Strygwyr stand up scrubbing his eyes and said "Magnus, let me handle this foolish young troll. He interrupted my dinner. Blood of trolls taste better, I wont let this one get away. MUhahahahahhah!!!
"I can eliminate both of you at once, so I wont waste my time. But if you want individual finishing, alright I'm fine with that, shall we start?" in a more confident voice of Jah'rakal
Then a vulture came near Magnus
"Give this to Kel'Thuzad, we need a reinforcement" while giving a some kind of letter to the vulture.
Then the vulture flew away.
"So be it!!!!" WAhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Magnus sent a shockwave while charging at Jah'rakal.
Again Jah'rakal easily avoided it. But this time he coenter attacked. He clubed the back of Magnus, giving Magnus a deep wound and Magnus was badly harmed. But the Magnataur didn't give up, he attacked Jah'rakal giving the young troll a wound in hes left shoulder.
"Ouch. That hurt men!!" said Jah'rakal
At that moment, Jah'rakal's patience wore off. Then Jah'rakal said "Enough playing, I shall now slay you!!" As his hands turn red. That was his deadly weapon, He is now berserked but his berserk was not like other trolls, he doesnt get extra wounds when using it. It was his own berserk, the so called Battle Trance.
His Battle Tance gave him incredible speed, he disappeared. As Magnus was so weakened, he had no idea what was the troll gonna do to him, and in matter of seconds Jah'rakal quickly jumped at the top of Magnus then giving Magnus devastating blows enough to send Magnus to his final breath.
As the troll killed Magnus, he stared at Strygwyr.
"One down. One to go" said the troll
"Hmm, so your fast, but not fast enough to stand my Rupture, WARAGHHHHHHH"
said Strygwyr
Jah'rakal moved so fast but he was under Strygwyrs deadly skill the so called Rupture. This caused Jah'rakal to stay at one place giving Strygwyr time to attack. Then the red in Jah'rakal, but he is still ruptured, then Stygwyr satbed him in his chest.
"ARGHHHH. my chest!" Jah'rakal screamed in pain
"HAHAHAHA, now I will suck your blood" said The Bloodseeker
Bloodseeker was about to suck the troll's blood but in sudden, Jah'rakal blinded him again. But this time, Jah'rakal wasted no time he quickly attacked Strygwyr. When he was about to kill Strygwyr, he suddenly freeze.
"What? Why am I so slow, what is this Ice covering me?" in the chilling voice of Jah'rakal
Then Bloodseeker was reliefed, knowing their reinforcement has come. It was none other than Kel'Thuzad, The Lich.
END of Chapter 3
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Chapter 3
-The Battle Trance
"ARGHH! My eyes, I can't see anything." cried Strygwyr
"Who are you?!" asked Magnus
Jah'rakal wasted no time, he retrieved his throwing axe from Magnus' body. Then introducing himself "I'am Jah'rakal, can I now start reaping both of you?"
"Huh, A troll berserker. How come you are with the Sentinel? I thought you trolls didn't want to serve the Sentinel neither do us. But nevermind, I will welcome you to this war with my wrath. Eat this shockwave" said Magnus while sending a massive shockwave, a bigger one compared to the last he released
But Jah'rakal easily avoided it.
"Hmmm, I see your fast compare to the other trolls i have faced earlier in the Reign of Chaos. But that doesn't matter, your no match for me" a confident speaking of Magnus
Strygwyr stand up scrubbing his eyes and said "Magnus, let me handle this foolish young troll. He interrupted my dinner. Blood of trolls taste better, I wont let this one get away. MUhahahahahhah!!!
"I can eliminate both of you at once, so I wont waste my time. But if you want individual finishing, alright I'm fine with that, shall we start?" in a more confident voice of Jah'rakal
Then a vulture came near Magnus
"Give this to Kel'Thuzad, we need a reinforcement" while giving a some kind of letter to the vulture.
Then the vulture flew away.
"So be it!!!!" WAhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Magnus sent a shockwave while charging at Jah'rakal.
Again Jah'rakal easily avoided it. But this time he coenter attacked. He clubed the back of Magnus, giving Magnus a deep wound and Magnus was badly harmed. But the Magnataur didn't give up, he attacked Jah'rakal giving the young troll a wound in hes left shoulder.
"Ouch. That hurt men!!" said Jah'rakal
At that moment, Jah'rakal's patience wore off. Then Jah'rakal said "Enough playing, I shall now slay you!!" As his hands turn red. That was his deadly weapon, He is now berserked but his berserk was not like other trolls, he doesnt get extra wounds when using it. It was his own berserk, the so called Battle Trance.
His Battle Tance gave him incredible speed, he disappeared. As Magnus was so weakened, he had no idea what was the troll gonna do to him, and in matter of seconds Jah'rakal quickly jumped at the top of Magnus then giving Magnus devastating blows enough to send Magnus to his final breath.
As the troll killed Magnus, he stared at Strygwyr.
"One down. One to go" said the troll
"Hmm, so your fast, but not fast enough to stand my Rupture, WARAGHHHHHHH"
said Strygwyr
Jah'rakal moved so fast but he was under Strygwyrs deadly skill the so called Rupture. This caused Jah'rakal to stay at one place giving Strygwyr time to attack. Then the red in Jah'rakal, but he is still ruptured, then Stygwyr satbed him in his chest.
"ARGHHHH. my chest!" Jah'rakal screamed in pain
"HAHAHAHA, now I will suck your blood" said The Bloodseeker
Bloodseeker was about to suck the troll's blood but in sudden, Jah'rakal blinded him again. But this time, Jah'rakal wasted no time he quickly attacked Strygwyr. When he was about to kill Strygwyr, he suddenly freeze.
"What? Why am I so slow, what is this Ice covering me?" in the chilling voice of Jah'rakal
Then Bloodseeker was reliefed, knowing their reinforcement has come. It was none other than Kel'Thuzad, The Lich.
END of Chapter 3
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All of the skill references from the game are sort of making it bland. As well as references to the animations in the game. Other than that, the character development is pretty solid and it's readable.
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Chapter 4
-Toughness: The Centaur Warchief's Specialty
Jah'rakal asked himself "No, I'm freezing. What is happening to me?"
"Its only because I casted Frost Nova on you" a reply of Kel'thuzad
"Your late. Magnus is already dead, and I was nearly been too. Why didn't you come earlier?" asked Strygwyr
"Shut up! You were just facing a stupid troll and nearly both of you died, what kind of morons are you? Don't expect long rest when you get back at the depths of our master." said Kel'Thuzad
"I know. But how about Magnus?" asked Strygwyr
"I don't know if he deserved to be resurrected. The Lich King shall decide. Right now, we have a business to handle" said The Lich
The Lich is about to finish off Jah'rakal, then Bradwarden quickly stood up then Stomping the ground just like he did against Magnus and Bloodseeker leaving the Lich stunned for a few seconds. Bradwarden wasted no time, he quickly lifted the heavily wounded warlord. He took Jah'rakal to Aiushtha The Enchantress who called her healing wisp to heal both Jah'rakal and Bradwarden.
"Do you think he will live?" asked Bradwarden
"Ofcourse he will, he should be just fine. Now we should handle those two pesky undeads. Shall we?" said Aiushtha
Bloodseeker and Lich continued destroying the land, then Bradwarden and Aiushtha came.
"You Scourge shall die. Taste the power of my spear!" as Aiushtha threw her spear toward Lich. And the spear hit Lich, but he quickly recovered from the attack.
Then Bloodseeker tried to stabbed Aiushtha, but Aiushtha speared Bloodseeker in his chest causing soo much pain. Then Lich used his icy power to slow down Auishtha, Bloodseeker quickly killed one treant to recover from the damage.
Then Centaur smashed the Lich's body, but the lich seemed to be not harmed. Then Bloodseeker again tried to stab centaur, this time he was successful but centaur just stared at him with such scary eyes, the Bloodseeker again stab then doing it again and again but leaving the same result causing just a minimal damage to the mighty Warchief.
The Bloodseeker realized he can't take down Bradwarden just on his own he needed the Lich's help. Then Aiushtha quickly go beside Bradwarden. Bradwarden and Aiushtha attacked. But in sudden, a breath of frost came toward them, hitting both of them many times, this time both of them were badly hurt. Before Auishtha could call her wisps, Bloodseeker used his agility to attack the two of them. Then Bradwarden quickly stood up showing his mightiness facing the Bloodseeker with him bathing in bath. The centaur knew Bloodseeker's power to be more agile and powerful when his opponent is greatly weakened.
And in their situation, Bloodseeker has attained his overwhelming thirst for blood, but Bradwarden stood up to him with full courage. Bloodseeker attacked Bradwarden and the centaur faced him. Their battle was fierce, both of them had been badly wounded. But seeing in their situation, even Bloodseeker had tapped his killing instinct, he realized that is wasn't enough to take down the centaur forcing him to backed down and retreat.
Then after the fierce battle between both Sentinel and Scourge, despite their wounds, the sentinel had successfuly defended their land.
In the frozen throne of The Lich King............
(P.S The Lich King's voice is his spirit)
"Weaklings!! You idiots! there were three of you and you killed no sentinel heroes. What a foolish generals!" In great anger of the Lich King causing an aura of pure ice surrounded him
Bloodseeker know what will happen if he tell the truth to the Lich King so he lied "I'm sorry my master, but an unknown troll came blinding Magnus and I. While I'm down three Sentinel Heroes teamed to slaughter Magnus. And the three of them nearly killed me until Kel'Thuzad aided me" said Strygwyr
"Kel'Thuzad! Why didn't you killed any of them?" asked The Lich King to his General
"My master, they were helpless but suddenly three other generals came to help them and they have escaped. I promise it won't be repeated" Lied also the Lich.
"It shall be not!" Said the Lich King
Back in the Sentinel's camp.....
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Chapter 4
-Toughness: The Centaur Warchief's Specialty
Jah'rakal asked himself "No, I'm freezing. What is happening to me?"
"Its only because I casted Frost Nova on you" a reply of Kel'thuzad
"Your late. Magnus is already dead, and I was nearly been too. Why didn't you come earlier?" asked Strygwyr
"Shut up! You were just facing a stupid troll and nearly both of you died, what kind of morons are you? Don't expect long rest when you get back at the depths of our master." said Kel'Thuzad
"I know. But how about Magnus?" asked Strygwyr
"I don't know if he deserved to be resurrected. The Lich King shall decide. Right now, we have a business to handle" said The Lich
The Lich is about to finish off Jah'rakal, then Bradwarden quickly stood up then Stomping the ground just like he did against Magnus and Bloodseeker leaving the Lich stunned for a few seconds. Bradwarden wasted no time, he quickly lifted the heavily wounded warlord. He took Jah'rakal to Aiushtha The Enchantress who called her healing wisp to heal both Jah'rakal and Bradwarden.
"Do you think he will live?" asked Bradwarden
"Ofcourse he will, he should be just fine. I will order my treants to bring him back to Furion. Now we should handle those two pesky undeads. Shall we?" said Aiushtha
Bloodseeker and Lich continued destroying the land, then Bradwarden and Aiushtha came.
"You Scourge shall die. Taste the power of my spear!" as Aiushtha threw her spear toward Lich. And the spear hit Lich, but he quickly recovered from the attack.
Then Bloodseeker tried to stabbed Aiushtha, but Aiushtha speared Bloodseeker in his chest causing soo much pain. Then Lich used his icy power to slow down Auishtha, Bloodseeker quickly killed one treant to recover from the damage.
Then Centaur smashed the Lich's body, but the lich seemed to be not harmed. Then Bloodseeker again tried to stab centaur, this time he was successful but centaur just stared at him with such scary eyes, the Bloodseeker again stab then doing it again and again but leaving the same result causing just a minimal damage to the mighty Warchief.
The Bloodseeker realized he can't take down Bradwarden just on his own he needed the Lich's help. Then Aiushtha quickly go beside Bradwarden. Bradwarden and Aiushtha attacked. But in sudden, a breath of frost came toward them, hitting both of them many times, this time both of them were badly hurt. Before Auishtha could call her wisps, Bloodseeker used his agility to attack the two of them. Then Bradwarden quickly stood up showing his mightiness facing the Bloodseeker with him bathing in bath. The centaur knew Bloodseeker's power to be more agile and powerful when his opponent is greatly weakened.
And in their situation, Bloodseeker has attained his overwhelming thirst for blood, but Bradwarden stood up to him with full courage. Bloodseeker attacked Bradwarden and the centaur faced him. Their battle was fierce, both of them had been badly wounded. But seeing in their situation, even Bloodseeker had tapped his killing instinct, he realized that is wasn't enough to take down the centaur forcing him to backed down and retreat.
Then after the fierce battle between both Sentinel and Scourge, despite their wounds, the sentinel had successfuly defended their land.
In the frozen throne of The Lich King............
(P.S The Lich King's voice is his spirit)
"Weaklings!! You idiots! there were three of you and you killed no sentinel heroes. What a foolish generals!" In great anger of the Lich King causing an aura of pure ice surrounded him
Bloodseeker know what will happen if he tell the truth to the Lich King so he lied "I'm sorry my master, but an unknown troll came blinding Magnus and I. While I'm down three Sentinel Heroes teamed to slaughter Magnus. And the three of them nearly killed me until Kel'Thuzad aided me" said Strygwyr
"Kel'Thuzad! Why didn't you killed any of them?" asked The Lich King to his General
"My master, they were helpless but suddenly three other generals came to help them and they have escaped. I promise it won't be repeated" Lied also the Lich.
"It shall be not!" Said the Lich King
"How about our lost general my king?" asked The Lich
"Do not worry, I bring back his life" replied the Lich King
Back in the Sentinel's camp.....
"Furion, how is the boy?" asked Bradwarden
"He's okay now. What happened?" replied Furion
"The boy killed Magnus and nearly did the same to Strygwyr, until Kel'thuzad came. He got such amazing talent, he's quickness in my opinion is unmatched" said in proud voice of the Warchief
Then Jah'rakal woke up
THE END OF CHAPTER 4
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Then Bradwarden quickly stood up showing his mightiness facing the Bloodseeker with him bathing in bath
I mean BLOOD SORRY
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