The JOKE THREAD! don't just read it! Post your also! (don't
DotaStrategy.com Forum Index > Etcetera > The JOKE THREAD! don't just read it! Post your also! (don't
Man 1: why is Beyonce's song To the left not to the Right?
Man 2: Why?
Man 1: coz black people dont have rights....
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling.
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757
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One day at the mental hospital, one man came to the doctor and said "doctor, there is one crazy guy over there standing on the table saying he was the sun"
then the doctor said "then just ask him to get down from the table"
"I cant" he said, "if he do that, then the whole world will be in darkness"
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people makes joke over other people's religion. it's just a fact you agree on it or try to deny it
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom's and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:
"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I were there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year!
All my love.
P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."
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@CFX
Too much setup, not enough payoff.
I kid, I kid. Its good.
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If you could reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any religious people. - Dr. House
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A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together.
When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
"What? You're crazy!"
"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."
"No!! Someone may see -- a relative, a neighbor..."
"At this time of the night? No one will show up..."
"I've already said No, and NO!"
"Honey, it's just a small blowie...I know you'd like it, too..."
"No! I've said NO!"
"My love... Don't be like that..."
At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, or even mom could do it, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom"
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CFX, now thats what I'm talkin bout!
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If you could reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any religious people. - Dr. House
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SilentControl.ph wrote:
Religion is a funny thing. When a person attacks a glaring discrepancy in it, followers of said religion rush to defend it even if they know it is wrong.
All religions can't be right. Chances are, only one religion maybe right or none. We get one true religion and a God/s, no true religion and a God/s or no true religion and no God/s.
So why make such a fuss over it?
Religion is a funny thing. When a person attacks a glaring discrepancy in it, followers of said religion rush to defend it even if they know it is wrong.
All religions can't be right. Chances are, only one religion maybe right or none. We get one true religion and a God/s, no true religion and a God/s or no true religion and no God/s.
So why make such a fuss over it?
I agree with you. Why wasting your life worshipping some god, when you can be an atheist or turn to buddha (many lives, so no worries :D ).
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@BlowJob joke
Lol, shorter setup with the same payoff as the other jokes!
Me likes.
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A wife is driving on a highway when the husband suddenly look at her and said "Honey... we have been married for 30 years, but i think we should get divorced." His wife remained silence and keep looking straight ahead, but she speed up a bit
The husband said again "Honey... i have made up my mind. I admit, i have an affair with your best friend, Anna. She is way more beautiful and definitely sexier than you"
His wife still remain silence, and increasing the speed of the car
The husband the said "I want our villa." The speed is now increasing even more
"I also want this car, land, shares and all our companies," the husband add
The car is now at top speed and heading straight to a truck on the opposite side of the road. The husband start to panic, then asked his wife "is there anything you want when we get divorced?" After remaining silence for a while, his wife said "no, because i already have everything that i need."
"Oh really? What is it?" The husband asked.
Right before the car hit with the truck, his wife look at him and said "airbag"
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Camille`Way wrote:
@admiral.eric
Youre Such a Racist..
@admiral.eric
Youre Such a Racist..
its a joke calm down, i think its funny but im not racist, im just open minded.
old joke btw.
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SilentControl.ph wrote:
@death20
I am currently a non practicing christian. And you are? Atheist?
So uncool. Even if your religion is wrong, if it makes you a more moral person then its worth all the wasted hours. Since morality in its most basic form is do onto others what you want them to do onto you, religion is an awesome way to make you moral.
@topic
CFX, more jokes. You are the best joke provider atm.
@death20
I am currently a non practicing christian. And you are? Atheist?
So uncool. Even if your religion is wrong, if it makes you a more moral person then its worth all the wasted hours. Since morality in its most basic form is do onto others what you want them to do onto you, religion is an awesome way to make you moral.
@topic
CFX, more jokes. You are the best joke provider atm.
Believing in religon doesnt give you morales, having morales gives you morales.
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