The JOKE THREAD! don't just read it! Post your also! (don't

Posted on Fri Nov 06, 2009 9:24 am

You mean morals right?

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Posted on Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:43 am


no

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Posted on Sat Nov 07, 2009 1:32 pm

post more jokes people
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I love God.

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Posted on Sat Nov 07, 2009 2:02 pm

He means morals.

Morale is something like, a state of confidence or something.

Moral is something like, knowing what's right and wrong, virtues or something.
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Posted on Tue Nov 10, 2009 9:47 am

3 idiots in jail intend to break out.
a guy says lets sneak on the gaurd, whack him on the head, and steal the keys to open the locked door.
they all agree and head to perform their master plan when they find w\out that the door isnt locked and that the gaurd isnt there.
so the plan maker starts shouting:-bleep- -bleep- wtf -bleep- the plan failed lets go back to our cells.


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2 smart cell mates and an idiot intend to break out of jail.
they say lets climb the wall and jump to the other side.
they go to the wall and the 1st one starts climbing it.
when he jumps he makes a sound.the gaurd asks who is ther and he replies prisoner meow meow.
the same thing happened to the other guy.
then cam the idiots turn.
when he jumped and made a sound, the gaurd asked whats that, and the idiot replied just another cat.
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Read what the penguin in the avatar says:

Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.Remember, when someone annoys you it takes you 42 muscles in your face to frown.BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and Bitch-Slap that mother@#?!&!

pass it on.........


remember, the search tool is your friend

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Posted on Tue Nov 10, 2009 10:22 am

most jokes are all about XXX
gahh, i hate those jokes... ==
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Indonesian... my English sucks

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Posted on Tue Nov 10, 2009 11:49 am

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
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Posted on Tue Nov 10, 2009 12:20 pm

nice one fox ^.^
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No longer bored!!! found a way to take time over

www.deathball.net/notpron/

hardest riddles, whoes up for the challenge??

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Posted on Sun Nov 15, 2009 2:34 pm

UP!
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Thanks to parkguy for my smexy ava and leejincen for my cute sig
I know we are meant to be. :P ♥

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Posted on Sun Nov 15, 2009 6:34 pm

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Read my Writer's Block Entry for Sept-Oct

http://www.dotastrategy.com/forum/ftopic24881.html

Betcha didnt see this, did you? XD

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Posted on Mon Nov 30, 2009 6:41 am

One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus. The bus driver leans over and says "Hey guy I know how to get that nun to have sex with you..."

Naturally the hippie asks, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun goes to an old graveyard to pray for god to forgive her for her past, and that he should dress up like god and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has sex with you.

The hippie gives his thanks and runs to the nearest costume shop.

Later that evening the hippie gets ready for his big night and drives down to the graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says "Behold, I have heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have sex with me!"

The nun agrees but asks if they can have anal sex in order to keep her virginity. The hippie agrees and once they are finished the hippie jumps back and pulls off his mask and says "Surpise, its me the Hippie!"

The nun jumps up and pulls off her mask and says "Surprise, its me the bus driver!"
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Thanks to parkguy for my smexy ava and leejincen for my cute sig
I know we are meant to be. :P ♥

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Posted on Mon Nov 30, 2009 6:45 am

It was a beautiful, sunny Sunday afternoon while Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf. On the first tee-box, Moses pulls out his driver and blisters a shot up the right side of the fairway, rolling fast towards a water hazard. Moses quickly raised his club, parting the water while his ball rolls through to the other side safely.

Golf Ball Hole In OneNext up on the tee, Jesus hits a really long drive right towards the very same water hazard. His ball came to rest dead center of the pond, hovering just over the surface of the water. Jesus casually walks out onto the pond, and chips it up onto the green within a couple feet of the flagstick.

Not impressed, the third guy steps up to the tee without taking any time and just randomly whacks at the ball. Rightfully so, the ball is hit with a nasty hook that clears the left OB markers and goes over a fence into oncoming traffic. It bounces off a truck's windshield hitting a nearby tree, bounces onto the roof of the greenkeeper's shed, back out onto the fairway and towards the same pond that Moses and Jesus hit. Before it gets wet, the ball ricochets off a small rock and bounces onto a lily pad on over the water when a bullfrog jumped up and ate the ball. Right at that moment, a bald eagle swoops down and grabs the frog, flying away. As it flew over the green, the frog squeals with fright and dropsthe ball right next to the flagstick, taking one bounce and landing in the cup for an astounding hole in one.

In disgust, Moses then turns to Jesus and says, "I hate playing with your Dad."
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Thanks to parkguy for my smexy ava and leejincen for my cute sig
I know we are meant to be. :P ♥

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Posted on Mon Nov 30, 2009 6:50 am

@captain_tesca

Epic first joke.
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Posted on Mon Nov 30, 2009 9:53 am

Professions


Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.

The first guy says " I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist."

The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K, you know... Double Income, No Kids."

The third guy says, " I'm a R.U.B, you know... Rich, Urban, Biker."

They turn to the woman and ask her, " What are you? "

She replies: " I'm a WIFE, you know...
Wash, Iron, F*ck, Etc."
_________________

Thanks to parkguy for my smexy ava and leejincen for my cute sig
I know we are meant to be. :P ♥

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Posted on Mon Nov 30, 2009 11:15 am

An idiot and a woman were in an elevator, and the idiot tells the woman "T-G-I-F" with a smile. The woman replies "S-H-I-T" and smiles back. The idiot tries again but with the same results.

"What's wrong with you?! T-G-I-F means Thank God It's Friday!!" screamed the idiot.

"S-H-I-T means Sorry Honey, It's Thursday" replied the woman. XD
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