The JOKE THREAD! don't just read it! Post your also! (don't

The JOKE THREAD! don't just read it! Post your also! (don't

Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 12:59 pm

Just some random jokes about marriage life. Sorry if I reposted or already jokes similiar to this one.

Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been
reading our marriage certificate for
an hour.'
Husband : 'I was looking for the
expiry date.'
------------------------------
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband : 'Sure! What are my
choices?'
Wife : 'Yes or no.'
-------------------------------
Wife: 'You always carry my photo in
your wallet. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no
matter how great, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and
powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and
ask myself what other problem can
there be greater than this one?'
--------------------------------------------
'When we get married, I want to
share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but
I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't
married yet.'
----------------------------
Son: ' Mum, when I was on the bus
with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right
thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on
daddy's lap.'
------------------------------
A newly married man asked his wife,
'Would you have married me if my
father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly,
'I'd have married you, NO MATTER
WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
----------------------------------
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll
be yours forever
The guy replies: 'Oh okay, Thanks for
the early warning.'
-------------------------------
A wife asked her husband: 'What do
you like me most, my pretty face or
my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe
and replied: 'Haha, I like your sense of
humor!'
_________________

my Nov BC entry!

Last edited by KevinMaster on Sun Oct 11, 2009 6:14 am; edited 1 time in total

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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 1:03 pm

Good ones, and ya you can post jokes here!
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 1:07 pm

Thx varun for the info! I hope this will bait other jokers to post their jokes
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my Nov BC entry!

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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 1:20 pm

Funny jokes i like it

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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 1:22 pm

lols!Funny shit!
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 1:27 pm

Why dont you edit the title to Joke thread or something, that will make people visit this thread and post jokes here rather than thinking this is just a query about something..
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 1:37 pm

funny jokes man!!

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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 1:37 pm

The last one is in:)
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Bnet account:Mum]Riki europe bnet whisp me i m active at night

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Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 6:15 am

I did what varun told me! Post guys!
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my Nov BC entry!

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Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 6:24 am

In a small cathedral, a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the priest.

The priest asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done, just give her 10 Hail Marys. I'll be right back."

Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected, Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession.

"Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable," she said. "I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."

Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation—surely 10 Hail Marys would not do. So in a moment of desperation, the janitor peeked his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the priest give for oral sex?"

The altar boy replied, "Two Snicker bars and a Coke."
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Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 6:38 am

Hahahah
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my Nov BC entry!

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Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 6:52 am

A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?

"Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.

"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breasts
just once for $10,000 dollars?"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?"

"Nah", he replies. "Costs too much..............."
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Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 7:03 am

There was once a lady that went into an ice cream store in New York. As she approached the counter she noticed that the salesman was black. Without thinking much, she says to him:
- I 'd like a Chocolate, Vanilla, Strawberry ice-cream in a cone.

The man with a soothing tone in his voice replies to the lady...

- I 'm terribly sorry mam, but we 've run out of chocolate!!

The lady thinks a bit, and comes back with a new request..

- All right then, give me a Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry in a cone...

The man looks away for a minute, trying to hide a small laughter.. then comes back to her saying...

- Well mam, I just told you that we don 't have any chocolate left...

The lady gets herself again in deep thinking, scratches her head and asks again...

- Ok then, give me a Vanilla, Strawberry, Chocolate ice-cream in a cone...

The man tries not to errupt, and after calming down he replies to her in a most inquisitive tone...

- Well mam, let 's set some things straight here ok?.. Can you spell VANI as in VANILLA?

- But of course I can, It 's V, A, N, I, says the lady almost immediately...

- Cool, replies the man, now can you spell STRAW as in STRAWBERRY?

- Sure I can, It 's S, T, R, A, W, replies the lady even more quickly.

- Brilliant, now can you spell FUKC as in CHOCOLATE?

- Yes, It 's F, U.. eh.. hey wait a minute, there is no FUKC in CHOCOLATE...

- THAT 'S RIGHT BITCH!!! There 's no FukcIN' Chocolate!!!
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My Replays

Last edited by Ultimate_King on Sun Oct 11, 2009 7:17 am; edited 1 time in total

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Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 7:10 am



I don't understand

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Nessaj Rocks!

Click Jazzy!!!

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Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 7:11 am

Frenchman, an Italian and an American were discussing love-making.

"Last night I made love to my wife three times" boasted the Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning..."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette and told me she could never love another man."

When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once." he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."
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