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Epic Battle Volume II : Purist vs. Balanar

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Valcles


First Blood Posts: 44 Joined: 28 Jul 2008 1282 gold

Epic Battle Volume II : Purist vs. Balanar

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 1:19 am

greetings and salutations dota fans! As I said in my other thread "epic battle volume 1", I will be posting another story. However, I have not quite complete it. But since I promised a new story ASAP i will post this 'teaser'. This is only the beginning of the story and hopefully there will be more to follow shortly. Like always i embrace constructive criticism and new battle Ideas, enjoy.






This mission weighed heavy on the mind of Purist, the Intel just didn’t add up. For weeks now any hero sent to patrol the borderlands of Kalimdor’s western line had be slain without mercy, and countless hours of magical reincarnation was the result. Purist’s strongest casters were exhausted, which was detrimental to the cause. Soon the Scourge would be invading his encampment as they no doubt sensed weakness amongst his ranks. Drastic measure would need to be taken to quell the threat lying to the west.

Reports received from the fallen heroes told of being ambushed in the darkness by only a single hero. The bright light of dawn would suddenly blacken and death came swiftly to those challenging him. There was no doubt in Purist’s sharp mind that Balanar was to blame. Regarded as one of the scourges most powerful heroes, Balanar could easily take down any lone soldier in minutes. What nagged at Purist was the fact that only days ago he brought down three in a matter of seconds. Something didn’t add up.

His only option was to take Balanar on himself; he refused to send any more of his comrades to their deaths. He would leave for the western edges of allied territory at dawn in hopes of finally removing this threat from his lands, it was his duty as a general, and he would not burden anyone else with it.

Purist was more courageous than anyone in the ranks of the sentinel, but even he was nervous confronting such a powerful foe. He’d faced him only once before years ago, and had been brutally beaten. His only comforting thought was that he knew Balanar’s tactics, and had a plan to counter them. As he prepared to leave on his quest, Purist was confronted by two long time comrades and friends. He gazed upwards and saw Rikimaru perched atop the great shoulders of Rooftrellen, protector of these lands. Both were there to stop him from what was seen in their eyes as a suicide mission. The two pled Purist to allow them to accompany him on his mission, but once again Purist reiterated that this was his burden to bear, and no other lives would be risked, that was an order. As he walked through the encampment’s gates he flashed a quick smile towards them, assuring them that he would return unharmed. Purist ventured forth to fight the battle of his life, alone.
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migrees


Godlike Posts: 1637 Joined: 15 Apr 2008 4449 gold

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 2:13 am

Excellent start Smile

Good grammar and readability, plus points.

Using PARAGRAPHS, not wall of text = plus more points.

Good vocabulary, even more plus points.

Excellent plot and drama, plus beaucoup points

now that's a lot of points xD.
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admiral.eric


Killing Spree Posts: 81 Joined: 19 Sep 2007 2002 gold

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 2:42 am

A very nice story... cant wait for the finished product...
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Valcles


First Blood Posts: 44 Joined: 28 Jul 2008 1282 gold

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 3:13 am

thanks
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looneytunes


Warnings : 1 Mega Kill Posts: 519 Joined: 09 Sep 2007 15678 gold

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 3:40 am

Sounds awesome, I can picture the battle in my head so vividly!
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SilentControl.ph


Warnings : 1 Mega Kill Posts: 521 Joined: 20 Mar 2009 14038 gold

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 2:57 am

@looneytoons

Theres no battle as of yet and you can still picture it?

@Valcles

OOOOooooooooooohhhhhhhhh. Buildup.


I like how you mad Balanar so badass on this one. The hero needs a bit more love. Balanar has an awesome concept but he is still unloved in both pubbies and leauges. Hope this cool story shows the true badassery of The Night ,Fu**ing, Stalker.
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Pale-Knight


First Blood Posts: 9 Joined: 06 Oct 2009 325 gold

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 3:02 am

Great start, but i kinda dislike wall of text... makes my eyes sore
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dohyun99


Chambermaid Posts: 4270 Joined: 21 Aug 2007 16655 gold

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 1:58 pm

bout time a new Epic Battle came out Smile

i like the way this is headed, cant wait for the whole thing! ^^
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Valcles


First Blood Posts: 44 Joined: 28 Jul 2008 1282 gold

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:55 pm

Okee doke, heres part two. Enjoy!



Purist was more courageous than anyone in the ranks of the sentinel, but even he was nervous confronting such a powerful foe. He’d faced him only once before years ago, and had been brutally beaten. His only comforting thought was that he knew Balanar’s tactics, and had a plan to counter them. As he prepared to leave on his quest, Purist was confronted by two long time comrades and friends. He gazed upwards and saw Rikimaru perched atop the great shoulders of Rooftrellen, protector of these lands. Both were there to stop him from what was seen in their eyes as a suicide mission. The two pled Purist to allow them to accompany him on his mission, but once again Purist reiterated that this was his burden to bear, and no other lives would be risked, that was an order. As he walked through the encampment’s gates he flashed a quick smile towards them, assuring them that he would return unharmed. Purist ventured forth to fight the battle of his life, alone.

As he trudged through the dense forests of Kalimdor Purist began to question his decision to come alone, only a few miles away from the safe haven of his base he felt like he was being followed. Reluctant to accept that the enemy could have spies this deep into his territory he simply ignored it. He began to devise a winning strategy in his mind, to defeat Balanar he would need to fight a near perfect battle. Purist wasn’t an arrogant human, he knew he was in tough. However he has some items that would serve him well in his ordeal. If his suspicions were correct he would not only be facing off against Balanar, but more likely Balanar and another hero as well.

Back at the encampment he studied the accounts of the heroes attacked in the west. Heroes of the highest calibre were being dismissed without even a chance to fight back. Even the strongest of heroes like Bradwarden were being killed in an instant. The only logical conclusion was that they were being attacked by more than one enemy; most likely the other had some sort of cloaking spell. This fact didn’t sit well in the mind of Purist; fighting two enemies would surely mean his downfall, especially if he couldn’t even see one of them.

He checked his inventory one more time to see if he had what he needed. His plan was to isolate each of his foes and try to take them out one at a time, which is why he wielded Eul’s sceptre of divinity. With this he could launch one of his foes into the air with a cyclone and focus on the other; he also carried a small pouch of magical dust which could help him see an invisible foe. Lastly, he also armed himself with magical armour known as Shiva’s guard, in hopes that this would block a direct hit from the enemy if he was ambushed.

Purist was satisfied with his items and continued on his way, still unable to shake the feeling that he was being followed. He was close now. Dried blood stained the land he walked on, he took to a knee to gain his bearings. Looking down at the blood soaked ground he shut his eyes and recited a quick prayer, “may the Silver hand guide me in my plight.”

He quickly equipped himself with the staff and armour; he could be attacked at any second now. Suddenly without warning, the sky went black, the enemy was upon him!
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karlosmaxi


Dominating Posts: 136 Joined: 07 Oct 2008 4201 gold

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:12 pm

ZOMG PURIST WATCH OUUUT!!!!!

Btw, like the idea of having an Euls, what hero do you think hes gonna face apart from bally? hope its an akasha or sumthing, keep it up with such a greta story
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KingV


Godlike Posts: 1439 Joined: 18 May 2008 27579 gold

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:01 pm

I really liked your first volume with Pudge and Davion. Also I'm glad you included items in the story like I sugested. I'll keep my eyes on this fanfic, something I haven't done in a while. Update ASAP Im Not Worthy
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Shankapotamus


Monster Kill Posts: 308 Joined: 11 May 2009 7160 gold

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:32 pm

Awesome story! So suspenseful!
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xBenwa


First Blood Posts: 5 Joined: 17 Jun 2009 161 gold

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:00 pm

I'm impressed. Moar!
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xBenwa


First Blood Posts: 5 Joined: 17 Jun 2009 161 gold

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:17 pm

I am definately gunna keep my eyes on this, great job. :p
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nephritos


First Blood Posts: 20 Joined: 02 Dec 2008 1234 gold

Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:46 am

AAA ITS A TRAP OLOLOL

gj

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