LOUGH OUT LOUD (English Version)

LOUGH OUT LOUD (English Version)

Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 9:19 pm

It's joke time!!

Due to insisting public demand, here's the english version of my joke compilation.. Enjoy!! Laugh hard!!

Different Position:
Husband: Shall we try a different postion tonight honey?
Wife: That’s a good idea dear!!.. Sit there by the table and I’m gonna sit here in the couch and let’s watch TV then..’
(hahaha!) you’re thinking something huh?? Don’t you??

FILIPINO INGENUITY?
A Filipino doctor has introduced the use of a device that enlarges a man's sex organ by up to 5 times with no side effects. It is called a magnifiying glass.

GIFT:
LADY 1: Your husband didn’t seem to appreciate your gift to him
LADY 2: I noticed it too.. It’s been 7 months and he haven’t used it yet..
LADY 1: Well, may I know what was your gift to him??
LADY 2: Memorial Plan

GINO (Gino is a male name)
Grandpa: Gino, could you please hand my coffee over here??
Grandson: Granny, I’m Gina. (Gina is a female name)
Grandpa: Gino, get me a spoon please??
Grandson: Granny, I’m Gina..
Grandpa: You son of b*tch! Could you stop your fogginess you sh*t damn gay!!

TOOTHPICK
In a restaurant..
(after the meal)..
Customer:: What kind of restaurant is this?? You only have a single toothpick here and it easily got broken!!
Waiter (angry): You know what sir?? Of all those people who used that toothpick, you’re the only one who broke it!!

CONFIDENT VS CONFIDENTIAL:
SON: Dad, what’s the difference between Confident and Confidential??
DAD: You are my son, I’m CONFIDENT with that. Your bestfriend Tikboy, he’s my son as well… that’s CONFIDENTIAL..

FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES:
SON: Mom, is it true that “First love never dies”?
MOM: Of course yes my son! Look at your Dad, until now that dickhead f*cking animal doesn’t seem to die yet!!

TERRIBLE HUSBAND:
WIFE 1: I don’t wanna have sex with my husband again.. He is sadisting me before we have sex
WIFE 2: My husband is worst! He’s sadisting me as well then he’s gonna f*ck our maid!

REALLY TIRED:
WIFE: Now what?? We’ve been married for two days and still your pole doesn’t seem to get hard
HUSBAND: I’m so sorry, I’m really stressed and tired, that’s why..
WIFE: OK!! If it aint workin’, then I’ll go find another guy who can give me pleasure!!
HUSBAND: Oh sure go ahead! Make it two! The other one is mine please??

PRIEST and NUN:
PRIEST: (knocking the bathroom’s door). Sister, are you the one there?? I’ll just get my toothbrush.
NUN: Wait up father, I’m still on panty.
PRIEST: Ok I’ll wait.
NUN: Come in now father, I already took it off!!

STUDENT:
Prostitute Barker: Hey sir, I have chicks here, price is 1,500, student.. fresh..
Man: Oh really?? Can you give me a price of 1,000 but the performance is superb than student??
Prostitute Barker: Oh sure! There’s the school PRINCIPAL sir!!

AFTER THE WEDDING:
Husband: You’re a great LIAR!! Before I marry you, you said that you’re still a virgin!! Why was it that I didn’t have hard time penetrating you?? It went through easily!!
Wife: F*CK YOU!! You were too drunk last night and you slept with my mom assshole!!

STALKING:
Daughter: Mom, my classmate keep on sneaking at my panty!!
Mom: That was rude!! What did you do then?
Daughter: I took off my panty and hid it in my bag so he wont see it!!

PROMOTION:
Judge: Hey you criminal! I’ve been seeing you for ten years here in my court!!
Swindler: Your Honor!! It’s not my fault if you haven’t been promoted since then..

THE LETTER:
Patient: Doc, It’s so sad here in mental hospital thus I decided to write a letter to myself.
Doc: What’s the content of your letter though??
Patient: Of course I don’t know, I haven’t received it yet, It’s supposed to be mail here next week!

FABRIC CONDITIONER
Girl: Wow!! Your dick’s complexion is white
Boy: Of course, I’m using whitening soap
Girl: Did you also use fabric conditioner?
Boy: Why?? Is it very fragrant??
Girl: No! It’s soft!

HIDE AND SEEK:
Girl: C’mon!! let’s play Hide and Seek. If you find me, you can f*ck me!!
Boy: What if I didn’t find you??
Girl: Just search behind the piano..

2 NUNs
Two nuns were being raped by two goons..
Nun 1: Our father, forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing!!
Nun 2: Oops not here!! Mine knows what he’s doing sister..

RAPE SUSPECT:
Atty: Girl, can please describe here in the court the physical looks and appearance of the man who raped you??
Girl: Black and dirty complexion, baldy, with lots of pimples, flat nose and loose tooth… ahhmm…..
Suspect: Hey! Cut it off!!
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 3:07 pm

not bad although some are lewd.
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Forum rules , my blog 1 , my blog 2
Currently trying to get good 6.54 QoP replays - a very difficult work

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Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 5:54 am

Not bad, but I like the simple one.
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Kodiwolf's howl!!

Can you see the light??

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Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 12:28 pm

Not that bad! Its funny too!
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(The) Elite Warlord, my LAN name.

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Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 2:36 pm

^_^
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"SPEED DETERMINES THE WINNER"

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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:22 pm

^_^
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Make the others to stand at your will or rot in loneliness staring cold and still.

Which Final Fantasy Character Are You?
Final Fantasy 7

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Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 1:22 pm

you made me LOL!!
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"at end of every tunnel there's a light...just hope it not a train"

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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:05 am

nice
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:57 pm

;p nice, . but GIna or GIna who was he rili? hehe
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Currently working on a Lanaya Guide*



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CLAN KcS Play with us in GArena, just add me up [kcs]chikita

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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 2:15 pm

^_^ i got alittle lost in gina and gino.... to much G's
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"Whenver you feel alone, ill come right next to you and start singing [Ill be Here]"......

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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:00 pm

Gino is a male name
And Gino is a gay that's why he claimed himself as Gina which his grandpa is f*cked up coz he knows his grandson is a male. (Gina is a female name) get it??
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