tagalog joke!!

tagalog joke!!

Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 3:07 am

Babae: Doc, kumusta na ang asawa ko?
Doc: Sorry ma'am. Mula ngayon, ikaw na ang magpapakain at magpapaligo
sa
kanya, kasi, putol na ang kanyang mga kamay at paa.
Babae: Hah?! Hindi nga?!?
Doc: Hehehe! Ninerbyos ka ano? Joke lang! Patay na sya!


Kulas: Siopao nga, yung babae.
Waitress: Babae?
Kulas: Oo, yung may papel na sapin, parang napkin.
Waitress: Ah! Lalake ang nandito.
Kulas: Lalake?
Waitress: May itlog po!


Amo: Inday, titira dito ang biyenan ko ng 3 buwan. Ito ang listahan ng
mga
favorite nyang pagkain.
Maid: Opo, sir.
Amo: Kapag may niluto ka dyan, lagot ka sa akin!


Mrs: Naniniwala ka ba na ang babae habang tumatanda ay gumaganda?
Mr: Oo naman.
Mrs: Sa tingin mo, gumaganda ba ako?
Mr: Sa tingin ko, hindi ka tumatanda.


Juan: Inay, si Pedro, hindi ako pinagkape sa burol ng tatay nya.
Nanay: Hayaan mo anak, kapag namatay ang tatay mo, hindi rin natin sya
pagkakapehin.


Son: Itay, pinagalitan ako ng titser ko!
Dad: Bakit?
Son: Hinalikan ko po ang seatmate ko.
Dad: Tong anak ko, manang mana. Hehehe. Eh, masarap ba?
Son: Opo, pogi po sya eh.


Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you
control
your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet bowl.
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush.


Binata: Ale, liligawan ko po ang anak nyo.
Ale: Huwag muna. Nag-aaral pa sya.
Binata: Sige po, kapag uwian na lang nila


Lasing: Hoy! Sinong matapang?! Labas!
Lalake: Ako! Bakit? Lalaban ka?!
Lasing: Pare, ihatid mo naman ako sa bahay, natatakot ako kay misis eh.
=)


Man went to confession.. .
Man: Father, during the war, a beautiful young lady asked me to hide
her
from the enemy, so I hid her in the attic.
Father: That's a very good gesture, you need not confess.
Man: But as the days went, she repaid me with daily sexual favors.
Father: That is still forgiven my son.
Man: But I have another question.
Father: What is it my son?
Man: Shall I tell her the war is over? =)


Tatay: Asensado na talaga ang anak natin sa US. Ito, nagpadala ng
picture,
nakasandal sa kotse. Basahin mo nga ang nakasulat sa likod.
Nanay: Inay, nagpapasalamat ako, kasi, kung hindi dahil sa kotse na
ito,
natumba na ako sa sobrang gutom.


Reporter: Sir, do you watch CNN?
Pinoy: Walang oras.
Reporter: Do you read books?
Pinoy: Walang oras.
Reporter: Do you play golf?
Pinoy: Walang oras.
Reporter: Do you drink wine or liquor?
Pinoy: Walong oras!

Husband: Hindi ako makatulog, lagi kong naiisip ang utang ko kay pare
na
dalawang milyong piso.
Wife: Tawagan mo si pare, sabihin mo, hindi ka makakabayad para sya
naman
ang hindi makatulog.


GMA: Ano bang hinahanap mo dyan sa 3 in 1 coffee mo at kanina ka pa
silip
nang silip dyan?
Erap: Hinahanap ko yung libreng asukal! May nakasulat kasi na
"Sugarfree."
GMA: Bobo! Banda yun!


Teacher: Magbigay ng halimbawa ng may number.
Boy: Cellphone, calculator, keyboard, clock at remote control!
Teacher: Very good. Ano pa?
Boy: Ang tatay ko pa. May number 2!


Frat leader: Balita ko, gay ka?!
Member: Hindi ako bakla! Chismax lang yun ng mga chuvanes na walang
magawa
sa mga chenelyn nila! Mga chaka ever! Me, Baklush? Haller?!


Bitoy: Dagul, bakit ang pandak mo?
Dagul: Kasi, bata pa lang ako, ulila na ako.
Bitoy: Anong kaugnayan nun sa pagiging pandak mo?
Dagul: Sira pala ulo mo! Wala ngang nagpalaki sa akin!


An alcoholic son wrote a letter...
Beer dad, Gin na ako iinom ulit, Whisky kelan. Tanduay mo yan,
tiTequilan
ko na talaga, pRhumis po! Your San, Miguel.


Juan: Pedro, nasaksak ako! Walang hinto ang tagas ng dugo. Please, call
me
a nurse. Call me a nurse, bilis!
Pedro: Sige, you're a nurse! Nurse ka Juan! You're a nurse! Nurse kah!


Nakatakas si Erap, FVR at GMA sa mga terorista at nagtago sa mga sako
sa
isang farm...
Terorista1: Anong nakita mo dyan?
Terorista2: Mga sako lang.
Terorista1: Tingnan mo ang laman!
Sinipa ng terorista ang unang sako, "Meow", sabi ni FVR!
Terorista2: Pusa!
Sinipa ang pangalawang sako, "Aw aw!" sabi ni GMA!
Terorista2: Aso!
Sinipa ang ikatlong sako... Walang tunog kaya sinipa uli ito ng sinipa
ng
terorista.
Dahil sa sakit ng sipa, napasigaw na si Erap. "Patatas!"


A little bird was flying in winter.
The bird froze and fell into the ground.
A cow came by and dropped some dung on the bird.
Bird realized how warm it was and began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing, dig him out and ate him!
Lessons to be learned from the story:
1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy;
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend; and
3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut! =)
_________________
Greater Luck,Greater Haste,Greater Bash

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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:05 pm

uhh. i dont read chinese, japanese, spanish, french, german.
whatever all those are........ haha

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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 7:39 am

THose are Filipino Joke...
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:07 am

ZOMG PLAGIARIZED FROM TERRY PRATCHETT!
A little bird was flying in winter.
The bird froze and fell into the ground.
A cow came by and dropped some dung on the bird.
Bird realized how warm it was and began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing, dig him out and ate him!
Lessons to be learned from the story:
1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy;
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend; and
3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
*hiss*
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 10:43 am

i'm with noob 28
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:08 pm

I can't stop laughing here! Very cool jokes, I'll visit here everyday!
_________________

(The) Elite Warlord, my LAN name.

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Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 3:04 pm

nice joke
_________________
"SPEED DETERMINES THE WINNER"

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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:11 pm

"..."Nc jOkeS PilIpInO jOKeS!!"..."
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Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 1:02 pm

visit : youtube and input on the search: benjo...

actually.... maganda siya at nakakatawa..
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I like this book...so much... You might say it's damn bad... it's good for vocabs...

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Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:29 am

Nakakautot nman yung joke n2
_________________

(The) Elite Warlord, my LAN name.

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Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 7:42 am

some of the jokes are from mv20vm ...
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