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Hunter in the dark - By Felix

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\->F3lix<-/

Godlike Posts: 1908 Joined: 30 May 2009 12128 gold

Hunter in the dark - By Felix



Enjoy people

Chapter 1: Short Intro

You must be wondering who I am... Well, the story is quite long, but I will try and make it as short as possible. In the years before my birth, all the leaders of the greatest nations tried to make a perfect soldier... Coldblooded, merciless... more powerful than any construction anyone ever created, and more lethal than any bomb man ever detonated, but still loyal to them...Something that would make their nations victorious in this great battle...But that remained a dream, mostly due to the fact that nothing that a man could create in that Cold War would make a human invincible...But, two hundred years have past from that, and that “dream” is now a fact...

What most of us thought at the time was that we were a part of a new breakthrough in science that would help improve human kind...little did we know of our bosses intentions. They only held interest in this project because it was going to make them rich...We later found out that we worked in an illegal agency which was suppose to create a special class of human warriors. We didn’t care much about that then either, we only wanted the fame and fortune as well. Unfortunately, nothing comes without a cost...The agency kidnapped over hundreds of homeless or poor people and subjected them to all kinds of tests, which either killed them or mutated them, all of which mutations included severe brain damage. I simply couldn’t do this anymore, but I was forced to...We were monitored day and night, and if we were to tell anyone, we would face the mutation ourselves. I had no choice but to continue this...

One day we began working on a new DNA sample; different from all the others we created...The samples before this one were all mediocre changes at best, bringing minor changes. This was the first one that would seriously change a human...change him enough so he wouldn’t be considered a human anymore...But there was a problem. The DNA didn’t work on adults...all adults that took would look normal at first. Then they would fall unconscious for two or three days, and then, when they woke up, they would be walking around mindlessly...they wouldn’t respond to anything, not even pain...We later figured out that we need a child for this...a hormone that children loose around the age of 14 is needed for this sample to work...instead of going out for a new sample, our bosses were determined to test this one before any other...so, one of us had to kidnap a child...Unfortunately, I was chosen for this task.

I simply couldn’t do it...At first I refused to do this, but in the end I was forced to. I knew what awaited me if I didn’t do this, and at the time, I didn’t want to face it. And so I did it; kidnapped a kid from the street; the first one I got my hands on. I went to one of the schools, hopping one would take the bait. So, I came to one of them and said his mother sent me to pick him up. I opened the door and he entered. Next thing I took out one of the shots which could instantly putted a guy to sleep and injected the liquid into the kid. For a second, I wanted to stop this, let him go and tell them I won’t be a part of their “project” anymore...As much as I wanted to do that, deep inside I knew that me going rogue will only slightly delay them. As soon as I brought him there, the test started. The sample was injected into the kid, and he was under surveillance for couple of days. First week there was nothing out of the ordinary, which drew our chiefs mad.

I remember how we found out the test’s success. First time in two years one of the chiefs visited our research...He was pretty agitated and angry. He just walked inside, opened the security doors and entered the test room. The room itself wasn’t something much...there was a bed, a bedside cabinet and a table. Everywhere else you looked you would see thick iron walls and a very thick glass that can survive a heavy blast positioned high up, from where we would oversee the test subject ourselves. There was a little vent where air would come in, but it was far too small to enter. The room was surprisingly dark though, but there were reflectors above the control room who would light up the room if needed. The chief then grabbed the kid and yelled out something which we couldn’t clearly hear cause the microphones that recorded sound were bad quality (the room was soundproof too). Before he realized anything, the kid took him by his tie and threw him across the room like he was throwing a pebble. The chief (His name was Carl) then smiled slightly and said “open the door”.

He walked towards it, but was soon grabbed by his neck by the kid (which wasn’t so hard, because Carl was pretty short and kind of slim), who said “you think you can disturb me and get away alive?” Next thing we saw was Carl being rammed into the wall where the “control room” was. The wall was dented, and the whole control room shook like it was hit by an earthquake. Then he threw him towards the other wall. Before the soldiers arrived, he jumped onto him and was tearing him apart. We were stunned to see him jump ten meters. When the soldiers arrived, Carl was already dead; his limbs lying around after the kid simply torn them off his body. There was a big hole in Carl’s chest, out of which you could see the lungs. Heart was torn out, and head detached from the body. It all happened in less than 20 seconds...It was only then we realized just how dangerous this project is.

For weeks we monitored his behavior. Surprisingly, he was almost all we wanted from this experiment...He was strong, powerful, seemed to be agile...and reckless, careless and merciless, showing no regret over his actions. But, the problem was that he wouldn’t obey...whatever we said to him, he would just ignore it. We could go in and try to talk in person, but nobody was brave enough to do it. Almost two months passed, and we still haven’t even seen how he ripped Carl to shreds. His body was still lying there on the floor, thorn to shreds. Nobody dared to enter because we knew nothing about the mutation that happened within him. One day...it’s strange... I felt like I should come inside the room...like I was supposed to enter.

Though I didn’t enter it that day, that thought continued to haunt me...To be more precise, my actions were haunting me...I destroyed someone’s life...To some cold-blooded jerk that might be easy, but to me...Only the thought of suicide remained in my head. For three days I was lying in my bed, just thinking over and over again what I have done. Nothing I tried to lie to myself diverted me from my intention. So I thought” if I will kill myself, why don’t I DIE from the hand of the one whose life I destroyed.” My decision was final; I’m going in...

He was sitting on his bed, faced in a different direction from the door .I opened them and quickly closed them. Luckily no guards were close by to stop me. As the door closed, I turned around. Before I could make a step, he got up, turned around and said “You must be quite brave...Still, it took you quite a lot to get here...” I stood there still, paralyzed by fear. But still I knew I should press onwards to him...As I was coming closer I said “What’s your name?” The kid smiled and started saying “My name is...is...” the smile on his face suddenly got replaced by a face of shock and confusion. He couldn’t finish his sentence...Instead of waiting till he finishes the answer, I asked something else “Where do you live?” The smile on his face returned “I live...in...” As quickly as it reappeared, it vanished, and the confusion was once again visible on his face. “Do you remember anything from before you came here?” He didn’t answer. Instead, he was looking at the floor silently. In a second he changed the look on his face to something like evil-happy and said “Why do you want to die?”...

I was shocked by his words “How...how do you know what I...” He stopped me in the middle of a sentence and said “You saw what I did to that guy over there...two weeks nobody dared to enter and now you pop-up and a horde of soldiers is coming this way to get you out.” I was even more shocked when I heard that...how could he hear that...”probably mutation” I though. Then he continued “I don’t need anymore fuss around here, and I would appreciate if I could get another week of peace, so if you wouldn’t mind...” He never finished the sentence, but I knew exactly what he was thinking off.

I turned back around and saw an army of soldiers running to the door. One of them came and opened the first in a rush. I tried to explain to him that I’m okay, but at the time I forgot the room was sound-proof. Once they opened the last door, one of the soldiers grabbed me by my arm and pulled me out of the room, as others quickly closed all the open doors...


Someone was knocking at the door. A teenager, around 6 feet tall, closed the book and putted it down at the table, and stood up to open the door.
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Read my fanfic, Hunter in the Dark:

http://www.dotastrategy.com/forum/ftopic26944.html

I'm in the process of making a Doombringer(Lucifer) guide, if you have some suggestions, then PM me...


Last edited by \->F3lix<-/ on Sat Jan 23, 2010 11:33 am; edited 2 times in total


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Ne0aly

Monster Kill Posts: 222 Joined: 08 Jan 2010 7350 gold



I like it it's awesome. The whole thing is perfect except for some minor grammatical errors. Keep writing or else the kid will tear you apart Surprised
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\->F3lix<-/

Godlike Posts: 1908 Joined: 30 May 2009 12128 gold



Hehe...

If you see any mistakes or what seems awkward, please point it out...
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Read my fanfic, Hunter in the Dark:

http://www.dotastrategy.com/forum/ftopic26944.html

I'm in the process of making a Doombringer(Lucifer) guide, if you have some suggestions, then PM me...


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Helix_[X]

Dominating Posts: 149 Joined: 25 Mar 2009 5947 gold



What most of us thought at the time was that we were a part of a new brake-trough
-break through.
i think.
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aris000

Monster Kill Posts: 300 Joined: 01 Feb 2009 Warnings : 1 10630 gold



very good!keep it up plz

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admiral.eric

Killing Spree Posts: 95 Joined: 19 Sep 2007 2410 gold



If the intro is that good.. What about the story itself?? Good job dude!!
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TheGunslinger

Beyond Godlike Posts: 2905 Joined: 25 Jun 2008 Warnings : 3 58971 gold



putt not putted

Quote:
First week there was nothing out of the ordinary, which drew our chiefs mad.


say "During the first week" or something like that.

Quote:
First time in two years...


For the first time in two years...

Quote:
...after the kid simply torn them off...


Tore, not torn.

Quote:
There was a big hole in Carl’s chest, out of which you could see the lungs


Through, instead of "out of"

Quote:
It was only then that we realized just how dangerous this project is.


Quote:
For three days I was lying in my bed, just thinking over and over again about what I have done


Quote:
something like evil-happy


I believe sinister or vile would be the appropriate word.

Again, putt, not putted, in the last sentence.


There is an illogical thing here - how did they feed the boy? But it isn't that important.

All around, this is good, and I want to see what will come out of it.
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Clockwork - you thought it was over? You were, oh so wrong....

Last edited by TheGunslinger on Mon Dec 21, 2012 0:00 am; edited 666 time in total


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Ne0aly

Monster Kill Posts: 222 Joined: 08 Jan 2010 7350 gold



^i thought it is put not putt? Putt has something to do with golf I think..
@Felix
Did you read the book Firestarter? Sounds a bit like it. Or did you watch doom?
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\->F3lix<-/

Godlike Posts: 1908 Joined: 30 May 2009 12128 gold



Didn't read the book, nor watched the movie :P

about food, probably trough a slim hole in the wall, trough which they would push the plates with a stick or smthing...
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Read my fanfic, Hunter in the Dark:

http://www.dotastrategy.com/forum/ftopic26944.html

I'm in the process of making a Doombringer(Lucifer) guide, if you have some suggestions, then PM me...


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L337HaloGod

First Blood Posts: 45 Joined: 21 Feb 2009 2235 gold



wow awesome! I wanna read more, whens chapter 1 coming out?
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To read my fanfic, click
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DaMan2000

Godlike Posts: 1942 Joined: 19 Aug 2008 Warnings : 3 52930 gold



LOL

I like the ending. My criticism is that the story drifts from the beginning and the mid plot dont really match. Nice job! Alien
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Betcha didnt see this, did you? XD


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\->F3lix<-/

Godlike Posts: 1908 Joined: 30 May 2009 12128 gold



Thanks on advice, but i'm not sure what you're saying...
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Read my fanfic, Hunter in the Dark:

http://www.dotastrategy.com/forum/ftopic26944.html

I'm in the process of making a Doombringer(Lucifer) guide, if you have some suggestions, then PM me...


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nephritos

Killing Spree Posts: 81 Joined: 02 Dec 2008 3490 gold



very cool, the whole mood seems so twisted and sinister...continue!

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\->F3lix<-/

Godlike Posts: 1908 Joined: 30 May 2009 12128 gold



Also, can someone make me a sig out of this:



I might use it to link to this thread (if i don't find a better one)...

EDIT:

Next chapter could come in couple of days...depends on my mood and my mom...
_________________
Read my fanfic, Hunter in the Dark:

http://www.dotastrategy.com/forum/ftopic26944.html

I'm in the process of making a Doombringer(Lucifer) guide, if you have some suggestions, then PM me...


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carnage07

Monster Kill Posts: 242 Joined: 07 Feb 2009 11299 gold



OHHH Hunter.... now i get it :P
although you did remove the "rabies infection" story(i think), nice fanfic. grammatical errors but that's it.
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thanks to anthdx for the shadow sig! Smile


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