DotaStrategy.com - View topic - Are You Looking For A real Joke?! Heres my Compilation!

jeanprixx

First Blood Posts: 11 Joined: 19 Nov 2007 gold

Are You Looking For A real Joke?! Heres my Compilation!

Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:15 am

A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a very large jar behind the
bar. It's filled to the brim with ten-dollar bills. The man guesses there
must be thousands of dollars there. He approaches the bartender and asks
him: "What's up with the jar?"
Bartender: "Well, you pay ten dollars and if you pass three tests then you
get all of the money."
Man: "What are the three tests?"
Bartender: "Pay first. Those are the rules."
So the guy gives him the ten bucks and the bartender adds it to the jar
with the other bills.
Bartender: "OK, here's what you have to do. First you have to drink that
whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once AND, you can't
make a face while doing it. Second, there's a pit bull chained up out back
with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third,
there's a 90 year old woman upstairs who's never had an orgasm in her
life. You gotta make things right for her."
Man: Well, I know I've paid my ten bucks but I'm not an idiot, I can't do
all that... it's impossible!
Bartender: "Well, you asked, and I told you...those are the rules, and
your money stays in the jar."
Well, as time goes on and the man downs a few drinks, he asks, "Wherez zat
teeqeelah?" He grabs the gallon of tequila with both hands, and downs it
with a big slurp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks but he does not make
a face. Next he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear a
huge scuffle going on. They hear barking, screams, yelps and growling, and
eventually silence. Just when they think the man must surely be dead, he
staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped to shreds and big
scratches all over his body.
"Now," he says, "where's that woman with the sore tooth Bleh!

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jeanprixx

First Blood Posts: 11 Joined: 19 Nov 2007 gold

Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:18 am

Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter.

"So," Peter asks the first guy, "how many times did you cheat on your wife?"

"None. I had a perfect marriage."

"Great," says Peter. "You get to cruise around heaven in a Mercedes. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?"

"Only twice, I think," says the second guy.

"Okay. You get to cruise around heaven in a Cadillac. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?"

"12 times. Maybe 13," says the third guy.

"Okay," says Peter. "You get a rusty Ford."

Later that day, the guy in the Cadillac sees the guy in the Mercedes crying.

"What's wrong?"

"I just saw my wife."

"So?"

"She was riding a skateboard."
_
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Hail To The Lord Of Avernus!

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Sofa_King_Good

Warnings : 1

Monster Kill Posts: 251 Joined: 20 Nov 2007 gold

Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 6:00 am

LOL. SHE WAS RIDING A SKATEBOARD. CHEATED ON HIM ALOT!

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smecrick

Dominating Posts: 147 Joined: 07 Aug 2007 gold

Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 6:53 pm

Lol i get it thats funny lmao
_________________
Pobodys nerfect

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Linial_Tailor

Monster Kill Posts: 376 Joined: 24 Apr 2007 gold

Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 10:30 pm

Make it appropriate for the young people here.
_________________
"Close your eyes if you want to see dreams. Don't be afraid of the dark."
"L(–Z-)90ºAL + TA(–)90ºLOR = 1"

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St0pMe

First Blood Posts: 23 Joined: 05 Oct 2007 gold

Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 6:52 pm

make it appropriate pfft. they dont have to read if they are too young
these are great gj
_________________
GODLIKE!

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