A Tale of Two Worlds- REMAKE

A Tale of Two Worlds- REMAKE

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:06 am

I am rmking the previous story:

-------------------------------------------------------------
Prologue
-------------------------------------------------------------

This was uncharted territory. Every other ship or plane to enter these waters had been destroyed. Lost. But they had no other option. Either risk it or be lat in sending the troops for the war raging in the Americas.

They were the elite. Trained to face any foe. But not the Bermuda triangle. They were crossing it by ship, when, the ship wobbled precariously. The waters were in some kind of a rage. The waters suddenly parted from the ship’s base and the ship fell to the seabed. Their communications was out, due to the electromagnetism in the air. No one would ever know what caused the mysterious disappearings, except one cook.

As soon as the ship was halfway through to the sea bed, the water rejoined, but still something pulled the ship down. The ship and the people on it. Most of the people had drowned. One floated up to the surface with strong strokes but no sooner did he reach the surface then he fainted out of exhaustion and sunk to the bottom again. One cook somehow managed to survive till they reached the bottom and then he fainted and was pulled into the ground through the ship. But he did not know this. He was unconscious. The only survivor of an age old puzzle was unconscious, on the verge of death.
-------------------------------------------------------------
_________________

Back to top

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:28 am

-------------------------------------------------------------
Part I-Chapter I: New Beginnings
-------------------------------------------------------------

Kardel Sharpeye. World famous sharpshooter. He had fought his way up. Killing any fool stupid enough to stand in his way. But now, now, he was forced to watch the destruction of his village by those wolves. As lookout, he had failed to notice those wolves before It was too late. And too shocked to warn the village when he did notice.

But it was not his fault. The wolves were the elite. Stealthy, powerful and merciless. A dangerous combination for whoever stood in their pack. They were sentient beings. They had a leader. And they obeyed him to the last word. It was a rule of the mightiest. Leadership kept changing. Loyalties also changed.

Now, the leader directed his clan, plundering every house, killing every person. The other sentient beings hardly knew of their existence. It was imperative it remain that way, or they would be hunted down.

Kardel felt a rage boiling inside him. He picked up his rifle and aimed for their leader’ heart. After a few moments of contemplation, he fired. The bullet was true to its mark. It tore at the wolf’s flesh, piercing the heart. Blood poured out in a stream and death was imminent.

The other wolves were shocked. The leader had, supposedly, just collapsed in front of them, a leader who was in their primes. The wolves gathered around.

Kardel left from his place high up in the mountains surrounding the village. He had a job to do. He would help the sentinel in the war. He would destroy all evil he found. He did not want any one else to suffer his fate.

Two red eyes glinted in the forest canopy. He watched their leader fall. This was better than expected. He walked into the village. Even though his feet made but the barest sound, the wolves heard him. Every wolf turned around, his eyes on the stranger. They were wary of the demented human. He would be treated like a worthy opponent for they sensed a power in him. A strong power.

The human spoke. His voice was deep, inspirational yet terrifying. “I see that you leader has fallen. No matter, for I am your new leader now.” The human spoke wolf, as the humans would have called the language. But yet…he was not wolf. The second in command stepped forward. “You are not a wolf. Only a wolf leads our clan.”

“True. I expected as much. But I am more than a wolf.” The moon rose. The human seemed to metamorphise. Claws grew out from his fingers. A coat of fur covered his skin. His clothes fell out, discarded. His face became wolf like. He bent down, his hands turning into paws. “I am a werewolf”

The legends had spoken of a werewolf who would lead them in their quest for glory. There was no doubt in any wolf’s mind that this was the werewolf. They all bowed, the decision was unanimous. Hey had a new leader.

The lycanthrope was jubilious. He had watched the village that had outcast him destroyed by the very wolfs he now commanded. Only one human had been spared. He would be seen to personally.

It was new beginning for two people. An outcast and one of those who had outcast him
-------------------------------------------------------------
_________________

Back to top

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:34 am

Very very good. Although lycanthrope isnt human lol. Continue it.
_________________
Roshan killed Tupac

My guide to Mirana- The Priestess of the Moon

Back to top

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:36 am

Creative liberty.
_________________

Back to top

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:37 am

Not as good as your previous stories, a little short and too many full stops. And some minor spelling mistakes( most likely typo errors).

Hope to see some improvements in the next chapter
_________________

Author of The Brothers Trilogy
Featured Guide of the Month Organizer

Back to top

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:41 am

This story isnt over yet. The full stops are like watchign a picture in slow motion. You stop for a sec before the next sentence and then ur brain processes the info u have read in the short gap which enhances ur understanding of the stry ewven though u prolly do not kno its happening.
_________________

Back to top

Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 7:33 am

-------------------------------------------------------------
Part I-Chapter Three: The Prey
-------------------------------------------------------------

“Mirana, I want you to go with your rangers to capture th…” said Furion in the Sentinel base camp, when he was interrupted by an elven messenger.

“Sir, our scouts have reported hordes of undead and other creatures gathering at one point.” said the messenger.

“The Lich King is preparing for a final push” muttered Furion. He summoned a meeting of all the generals at once and then taking Mirana inside the conference hall told her the details of her mission. Even though she was one of the commanders, she was needed for a far more important mission, Furion explained.

Mirana called together the best of her rangers, the Elite rangers and briefed them on their mission. The rangers left at once. They had a mission to do. And they would not fail. They never had. They jumped on to their tigers and leaped through the entrance to the base. They had a long way to go.

The tigers where perhaps the most important weapon of the rangers. They chose their tigers once in life and were never parted. It was an unbreakable bond between steed and rider. In battle, the tigers bit anyone fool enough to come at close quarters while the rangers fought with a bow. The tiger also served its purpose as companion and transport. Tiger and master communicated through a mental strand of consciousness.

It was night by the time they reached their location for the mission. But then, the rangers rather had an affinity for the night. Their eyes seeing in the dark as well as the night, they had an advantage over their prey. He would be poisoned and taken back to base alive. He would not even know what hit him. At least that was the plan…

They left their tigers to rest, exhausted as they were after a day’s work. The rangers jumped onto the trees, fanning out. They had spotted their prey at once. Now, it was only a matter of how time it took to encircle him and dart him. The slowly spread around, not making the least bit of noise. But, somehow, their prey seemed to see them and kept moving, placing himself in tactically excellent places if there was to be a fight. But that was impossible...

Suddenly, their prey took out two axes and threw it towards a clump of trees, severing the trunk. Not a moment sooner, the few rangers on that tree lead to nearby trees. They had lost their advantage. The Beastmaster, for that was what Mirana had called him could see them. The situation was critical. This had never happened before. He leapt into action, snagging arrows on their bows and releasing them with incredible force. An unanimous action it was, there was a sudden and resonating twang and birds flew out of their nests. There was a sudden confusion as the birds flew out and in the meantime their prey was gone. Mirana cursed and signaled the rangers to search.

Then, suddenly, Mirana saw the Beastmaster in a clearing, apparently still. She quickly took out her poison tipped arrow( a blunt one: the wanted him alive) and set it to her bow releasing it with the barest of noise. The Beastmaster was hit and he fell but it was a hollow victory. The Beastmaster had not moved, it was as if he had wanted to be taken. Shaking her head, she called to her rangers and they assembled and carried the Beastmaster to their tigers, where, with a harness they carried him back to base.

The Beastmaster had indeed wanted to be taken with the rangers for he had recognized the arrows as elven ones and knew the time had come, the time in which he would earn the right for his existence. As he was carried in the harness, a hawk followed them…
-------------------------------------------------------------
_________________

Back to top

Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 7:40 am

"cry" lovely :'D

keep it up waiting for more
_________________
[IMG]http://www.ff-fan.com/chartest/banners/vincent.jpg[/IMG]

To still feel force in me is the reason why I'm still fighting for everybody

Back to top

Reply to topic
Page 1 of 1    



View previous topic   View next topic
All times are GMT

Display posts from previous:  All Posts1 Day7 Days2 Weeks1 Month3 Months6 Months1 Year Oldest FirstNewest First 

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum

Jump to:  Select a forum General----------------AnnouncementsWelcome BoothBugs & SuggestionsRules and Regulations Dota Allstars----------------Latest ReleasesQuestions and AnswersHeroesItemsGeneral DiscussionsDream HeroesDream ItemsDotA ReplaysPremium DotA ReplaysThe Library Chit Chat----------------EtceteraJoke TimeGraphics CenterOther GamesFan FictionThe Armory Playing Online----------------Organized GamesHamachi Servers Archives----------------Dota Allstars ArchivesChitChat ArchivesDS Surveys

DotaStrategy.com Forum Index    .    Fan Fiction