pinoy jokes (mag ingat may mga halong green jokes poh)

pinoy jokes (mag ingat may mga halong green jokes poh)

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 4:12 am

Satanas pumasyal sa park:
priest: Hahhhh!!!! Sa ngalan ni Cristo, umalis ka Satanas, umalis ka Satanas!!!Umalis.....
Satanas: Charrr....
..... akala mo may ari ng park.

Sa hirap ng buhay
dalawang prosti nag eemote...
proti1: dahil sa hirap ng buhay ngayon kahit Php 5.00 ok n sa akin Sex...
proti2: ako nga, blowjob na lng para magkalaman ang tiyan ko
hehehehe

always wrong..
anak: wala akong kwentang anak para sa inyu! lahat ng ginagawa ko puro mali! di nyu na ako mahal!
ama: nagkakamali ka anak.....
anak: shiyett! mali naman ako!!!

wrong password
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather humorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was keying in. "P....E....N....I....S.." His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied: **** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH*****

Ms Universe pageant
The Setting: Pageant Night Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant Q&A Portion. The Finalists: Ms. America -Ms. Spain - Ms. Britain - Ms. Iran -Ms. India - Ps. Philippines - Question: Ms. America, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms. America: Well, I would say that, male organs in America are like gentlemen. Q: Why do you say that? Ms. America: Because it stands everytime it sees a woman. (Applause..Applause) Q: Ms. Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms. Spain: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight. Q: Why do you say that? Ms. Spain: Because it charges everytime it sees an opening. (Applause..Applause) Q: Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? Ms. Britain: Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors. Q: Why do you say that? Ms. Britain: Because it cries after every performance. (Applause..Applause) Q: Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in you country? Ms. Iran: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like thieves. Q: Why? Ms. Iran: Because they always enter thru the back door. (Applause..Applause) Q: Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country? Ms. India: A male organ in our country is like a laborer. Q: Why do you say that? Ms. India: Because it works day and night. (Applause..Applause) Q: Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country? Ms. Philippines: Ahh..well, opcors, hi,hi,hi...I can say dat male organs in ourcountry are like chismis! Q: Chismis? Ms. Philippines: Ayy sorry!!..It's ano..Kuwan...It means GOSSIP in our language. Q: Hmm..Interesting comparison..And why do you say that? Ms. Philippines: Ayy..diyahe!! Hihihi, Kasi...I mean...Because...it passes frommouth to mouth. (STANDING OVATION)

typewriter
LQ si mommy at Daddy so ang kanilang communication dinaan sa kanilang 10 year old son. DADDY: Anak sabihin mo kay mommy gusto ko magtype( Meaning gusto ng sex) ANAK: Mommy!! gusto raw ni daddy magtype. MOMMY: Naku! Anak sabihin mo kay daddy mo wrong timing siya red ribbon ngayon.(meaning may menstruation).AFTER 1 WEEKMOMMY: Anak sabihin mo kay daddy pwede na siyang magtype ANAK: Daddy sabi ni mommy pwede na raw kayo magtype. DADDY: Naku! Anak sabihin mo kay mommy mo hindi ko na natiis na HANDWRITTEN ko na.

ang secretary
tanong: Anong pinagkaiba ng secretary sa sexytary?........ ang secretary sinasabi sa boss nya na.... Gud Mrning Sir.....samntlang ang sexytary ay ngsasabing.... SIR, SIR MORNING NA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sa elevator
In a hotel elevator, A man accidentally elbows the lady's breast Man: If ur heart is as soft as ur breast, u will 4give me..... Lady: If ur BIRD is as hard as ur elbow, I'M IN RUM 23!!!!!!

Lunch break sa skul at ng tipon ang magbabarka (girls syempre). -- Girl 1: Pano ba malalaman kung gano kahaba ang titi ng guys? -- Girl 2: Eh, di syempre sa haba ng hintuturo nila. --- Naghalakhakan. bwa, ha, ha, ha!.. -- Girl 3: Sa mga guys naman, pano kaya nila malalaman kung gano kalaki ang kiki nating mga girls? -- Girl 4: Eh, di sa laki ng mga bibig natin!... -- Nagtawanan hu, hu, hu, hu?

hardworkin organs
feet: ako na yata ang pinakapagod lakad ako kung saan ako dalhin ng boss ko.~~
buttocks: sa akin ang pinakamahirap araw-araw toilet bowl ang kaharap ko. ~~
brain:pinakamahirap na yata ang sa akin kahit tulog si boss nagtatrabahopa rin ako. ~~
penis: puro easy trabaho nyo, ako gabi-gabi ipinapasok sa napakadilim at mabahong kuweba tapos iu-untog ako ng iu-untog ng amo ko hanggang sa mahilo ako at magsuka ng magsuka!

celfone at celsite
Sexy: Ano yang nakabukol sa shorts mo? Pogi: Antenna ng cellphone ko Sexy: Ayyy!! bakit lumalaki? Pogi: Ssshh!! wag kang maingay malapit kasi sa celsite mo

couple fighting
Husband: Animal ka! Wife: Hayop ka! Husband: Satanas ka! Wife: Demonyo ka! Husband: Peste ka! Wife: Supot ka! Husband ah! walang ganyanan!

mga anak
Mare 1: Naku mare, ang gaganda ng mga anak mo! -- --- Mare 2: Talaga, mare! Hay naku kung asawa ko lang ang inasahan ko hindi sanamangyayari yan.

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Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 6:57 am

hahahaha,, ntwa ako d2:couple fighting
Husband: Animal ka! Wife: Hayop ka! Husband: Satanas ka! Wife: Demonyo ka! Husband: Peste ka! Wife: Supot ka! Husband ah! walang ganyanan


hehe,,

pero lhat nkkatawa,
_________________

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Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 11:03 am

P-E-R-V-E-R-T... But i like it!
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Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 11:07 am

@saiyuki
kahit manyakis nakakatawa
@topic creator
hahaha lol
pinaka natawa ako doon sa "hirap ng buhay"
pero lahat nakakatawa
_________________
YAY!I reached 500+ posts!I'm Mega kill now!

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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 9:32 am

hahhaha nakakatu wa lhat lalo na yung:Ms Universe pageant , Sa hirap ng buhay at yung couple fighting SUPOT DAW!!
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