is it good?

Vote closed!
noo 0% [ 0 ]


good one for a beginner 43% [ 7 ]


yeah 56% [ 9 ]

Posted on Mon Apr 06, 2009 2:34 am

Cliched cliffhangers aren't very good... xD But... try to throw more twists in... I know it's still early in the story but... other wise this will just be another Guy A gets Pwned and then Guy B Gets Pwned and then Group A and B comes back to pwn some more people... xD
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Posted on Mon Apr 06, 2009 2:40 am

Ok...No Offence..Ain;t It bttr To play dota or smth..i mean this like no life =.=
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Bleh.

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Posted on Mon Apr 06, 2009 6:45 am

seems like ones respond
^_^


@ dohyun
thanks

@ flo
wut is "Cliched cliffhangers"?
>_<
anyway thanks

@ slacky
what do u mean?
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F---ing terrorists have wtfpwned Indonesia and MU... bah

MS word broken T_T gonna rush my guide after it's fixed @_@
My July GC entry

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Posted on Mon Apr 06, 2009 9:31 pm

no prob haha! and keep writing and ull get better
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The Assassin's Wrath - Chapter 2 - A Knight on the Horse

Posted on Wed Apr 08, 2009 12:25 am

Sorry, this is not updated for a long time. It’s not because I’m busy, it’s because I’m lazy :p. And this chapter is rather short. Anyway, here you go...

---

Chapter 2 – A Knight on the Horse

“Stop! Don’t kill him!!” shouted a mysterious being, maybe a knight.
“Who wants to kill him? Master Lich King told me NOT to kill Anub’arak.”

*flashback*
“YOU MUST EAT THE ICE!!”
“KEL’THUZAD, FIGHT HIM!!”
“Yes, master.”
“BUT DON’T... kill him...”
*end of flashback*

Anub’arak was sooo ashamed. He didn’t think that he must be alive by help – something he hated. But, he couldn’t refuse the help, eh?

The knight on the horse: Abaddon. He used to be a friendly comrade to the Night Elf, but Abaddon fell into darkness during the invasion of the Burning Legion, becoming possessed by many demons, corrupting both his soul and his powers . Now he was the representation of the evil itself. The horse he rode seemed cursed as Abaddon. The legendary blade he held seemed to weaken the foes while giving allied force more power. The legendary blade: Frostmourne.

“Anub’arak… you have failed the Lich King again,” said Abaddon. “Now you must go back to training.”
Anub’arak could speak no words; he was speechless. He only followed Abaddon, to an unknown place.

*2 years later*
2 years ago, Anub’arak didn’t think that training was a good idea. But, look at him after the training. His power had increased. He now could channel his dark powers into a bolt of disarming negative energy . His layers of spiked armor were nearly impregnable , the one called Spiked Carapace.

But what made him happier was a red scepter he held. He knew that his was just a copy, but the copies also had the same power as the original one: capable of bursting the damaging red thunder within. Yes, it's Dagon.

“Nah... so it’s good to have a training eh?” asked, no, said Abaddon.
“O yeah, I shouldn’t have opposed the Lich King. But... it’s been the past,” replied Anub’arak.

“So you are now ready to go to the battlefield,” said the Lich King suddenly coming to the training place.
“YEAHHHH!!!” screamed Anub’arak.
All beings there laughed out loud, a.k.a. lol-ed.

What they did not know was, that a stealth creature was spying them.

What will happen next?

*end of chapter 2*
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F---ing terrorists have wtfpwned Indonesia and MU... bah

MS word broken T_T gonna rush my guide after it's fixed @_@
My July GC entry

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Posted on Wed Apr 08, 2009 12:28 am

I like it, keep comin'

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Posted on Wed Apr 08, 2009 2:13 am

@ sopas
thanks
btw did you figure out any grammar mistake(s)? if yes, plz tell me ^^
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F---ing terrorists have wtfpwned Indonesia and MU... bah

MS word broken T_T gonna rush my guide after it's fixed @_@
My July GC entry

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Posted on Wed Apr 08, 2009 8:51 pm

nice haha, liked it better than the previous chapter (woot improvement!)

keep writing! ^^ good stuff
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Posted on Wed Apr 08, 2009 9:59 pm

Great but I stay at great because theres a good reason why this one is only great.

1st of all: As you know, the story was short, which summarizes a short information piece of the fight or how he trained to be more fearsome.

2nd : Skipping parts are complicated without enough information. For example the sentinels laughing out loud is laborious for us readers to understand how, why and what they were laughing at.

My point is try put more information next time if you are thinking of skipping some points and other than that, I bet your story will be just fine!
Ps. I did enjoy reading it so don't negatively over think this post of mine =]
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But if 'that' person is gone would you be busting with joy and laughter?

Best and Funny Fan-Fic by AmC!

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Posted on Wed Apr 08, 2009 11:19 pm

nice xD sounds kind of funny the way lich talks
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Jeremy Fang

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Posted on Thu Apr 09, 2009 11:03 am

btw now i'm thinking about the idea for chapter 3. so.. just wait xD



hm.. actually the one lol-ing were lich king and abaddon, not the sentinel :p

anyway, nice comments!

@ dohyun
tnx!!

@ kunfang
lol
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F---ing terrorists have wtfpwned Indonesia and MU... bah

MS word broken T_T gonna rush my guide after it's fixed @_@
My July GC entry

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Posted on Tue Jul 21, 2009 11:02 am

great story continue please

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Posted on Tue Jul 21, 2009 11:04 am

great story please continue

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