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The Anti-mage Assassin. Chapter four out!

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Total Votes: 21

Shall this be continued? no hard feelings!

No ending time set.
Yeah, it seems like a nice try! 42% [ 9 ]
42%

No man, You tried but it's not that good, get over it! 14% [ 3 ]
14%

Yes, I can't stop reading this shiz, It's epic! 28% [ 6 ]
28%

You should abso-bleeping-lutely kill yourself, That's how horrific this fanfic is. 14% [ 3 ]
14%

Tsakaman

Godlike Posts: 1104 Joined: 27 Jul 2008 Warnings : 4 30561 gold

The Anti-mage Assassin. Chapter four out!



Chapter one
The Anti-Mage Assassin.

Silence…
So much silence, so much emptiness inside.
He was a cold-blooded killer, with no feeling whatsoever.
Feelings are just a distraction, after all.
His name was known only by his victims, but his victims were long dead before they could even consider telling it.
He went by the name of Anti-mage, not because he could kill only mages, but for his innate ability to injure his opponents minds and then using that same injury to their demise.
He was concealed in the shadows of the forest whilst trying to get a hold of his target. This was the most prominent mission he had ever acquired.
The objective was simple, yet quite difficult: He had to eradicate the commander of the sentinel’s army, who went by the name Knight Davion. Despite his research to find more information, his attempts were in vain, that man was a sole mystery, much like himself, he thought.
He did not require any more info, anyway he thought as he caught a glimpse of a shining armor. This is it, he realized and with his ability to travel at the speed of light he found himself right behind his target, poised to strike.

He swung his sword…

And he realized something was out of place, there was no blood running from the armor, only straw in the air. He had done a rookie mistake, one which in most cases is punished severely. He turned his head and saw a man charging at him, wearing no armor. His amazing reflexes allowed him to recover fast enough to stand up quickly enough to deflect the blow. He jumped back and stared at his opponent, then he spoke.

Anti-mage: I presume you are Davion?

Davion: Well, I usually don’t shout my name like that but for you, since you will probably be long dead in a couple of minutes I’ll do an exception. Yes I am Davion, commander of the sentinel.

Anti-mage: *bows* I’m so honored, sire *mocking laugh*

Davion: If you are the assassin that’s hired to kill me, I have to admit I am supremely disappointed. You should know that my power does not come from my mind.

Anti-mage: Yeah, I have already figured that out. *mocking laugh*
But that doesn’t mean I can’t just cut you up, right *snicker*

Davion: Do you really wish to insult me like that? I would have spared you, were it not for your arrogant behavior. You still have a chance though, if you run away now and never come back.

Anti-mage: I would do that, but you see I’m not the kind of guy who just quits his missions like that, so I think I will reject that offer, even though it Is really generous of you *laughs* Smart trap you set there, but you could have organized yourself a bit better, you know.

Davion: what made you think that I’m not organized?

Anti-mage: Well isn’t that obvious? You could have easily ordered a hundred treants to aid you, and I have to admit that’s the only situation that you could kill me.

Davion: *laughing* Quite the arrogant one, aren’t you. Well if you think I am not a worthy opponent, let’s put it to the test, shall we?

Anti-mage: That’s what I was waiting for, sire *laughs and bows*

And Davion took the first step, charging in with his sword leading the way. What happened though was something he did not expect. The assassin used his ability, the same ability he used a couple of minutes ago and in a second he was directly behind him. He tried to turn, but then he remembered he had his own secrets. A tail sprung forth and struck the assassin in the head. He was so dazed, he could not move a muscle, he was helpless, much like his victims were in the past.

Davion: Remember my name in the afterlife, assassin

And he raised his sword and lowered it at the same time…

The sword rendered his flesh, his chest now burning him up as blood was creating several small rivers on his torso. He could move now, but it was already too late he thought.

Anti-mage (Thinking): Is this the end? How could I lose? Me, one of the greatest assassins of all time, losing? NO, I WILL NOT FALL, NO I MUST FIGHT!
He brought his twin swords up, and in a fraction of a second he sliced Davion who was about to leave and had turned his back. Davion felt his mind breaking, being torn apart along with his back. He turned and started to attack with even more ferocity, with even more might. They exchanged blows for a short amount of time, yet to those two it felt like ages had gone by. Davion though was obviously way more exhausted, both mentally and physically. They both took a step back then and Davion spoke.

Davion: I think I will end this now, although I have to admit you were quite tough.

Anti-mage: *snickers* have a trick up your sleeve?

Davion: Always, as every smart warrior.

He then growled in pain as though as if he was trying to release a hidden beast, release a vast power hidden within. His arms started to enlarge, his face was twisting…
But… Nothing happened. He reformed back to his natural form the instant he tried to unleash his potential.

Davion: What the heck is going on?

Anti-Mage: I thought I told you that any kind of magic would be useless against me.

He raised his swords and chanted…
Davion, who was obviously enraged, charged.

Davion: I CAN ALWAYS JUST SLICE YOU TO PIECES!

As he kept on chanting calmly, a blue flash sprung from his hands.

Anti-mage: Mana Void, She said as calmly as she could every say.

And all Davion saw was a blinding blue flash, and he felt all the exhaustion in his mind trying to break free, as though as if it was trying to blow his head open. His Body started to tremble and after a split second all the exhaustion was gone, he felt lighter and lighter until he lost his senses and dropped breathless, yet relieved that all the pain had been eased.

Anti-Mage: My name is Magina, remember it in the after life, Commander.

And the assassin walked away, concealing himself, stalking for his next pray, always calm, always silent and empty inside.

Comments and constructive critism is appreciated, but please consider this is my first try.
Flamers will be absolutely ignored.
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Last edited by Tsakaman on Mon Oct 12, 2009 5:39 pm; edited 9 times in total


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Blasting Illusions

Monster Kill Posts: 374 Joined: 05 Nov 2007 12887 gold



dont like the fact that DK died xD

any way i like it but it misses some dragonfire in it xD
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Tokemus

Beyond Godlike Posts: 3061 Joined: 09 Feb 2007 Warnings : 3 49896 gold



He went by the name of Anti-mage, not because he could kill only mages, but for her innate ability to injure his opponents minds and then using that same injury to their demise.

Problem there doc.

Change the part where he says, "MANA VOID" to something else. Explain in detail what Davion felt as he was mana voided. Don't just say MANA VOID. Everything else is good.
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frano3

Dominating Posts: 159 Joined: 03 Aug 2008 3059 gold



You really have shown what you wanted to show us,the fight that usually lasts 5 seconds,lasted for an hour,you deepened every feeling you could have felt there,it was like watching a movie.
Because I am critic,I will say atleast some negative things.(I personally think it is a good story/plot/trilogy.)
You could have added like an backstory for Magina etc. how he became an assasin,why does he do it,whats the pay.
Coclusion: (N00b language) MOARRR
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\->F3lix<-/

Godlike Posts: 1908 Joined: 30 May 2009 12128 gold



I got no criticism about the story, i like it actually...

But, the fact still is, and you said it, Davion is not a mage, and for mana void to kill him like that, he would need a huge mp.Add something in the end, how he was severely injured, but still standing, and how he then got sliced and diced or smthing by Magina...

True, you should add a background story, or slowly reveal it trough chapters...And describe a bit more...
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Tsakaman

Godlike Posts: 1104 Joined: 27 Jul 2008 Warnings : 4 30561 gold



Thanks everyone, i will take it into consideration, as this story was written in class with the teacher babbling over me =/ i ended it like that so that i have the option to either continue with a new chapter or end it there if the story is disliked. Plus i mentioned that davion was mentally exhausted, in dota words oom =) and mana void Can kill davion, i've done it ;D

@Toke: fixed the her part, weird i think magina looks like a girl =/ Also added a bit more detail to the mana void part, is it better now?
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neimi

Monster Kill Posts: 489 Joined: 21 Jan 2008 Warnings : 1 18241 gold



As she kept on chanting calmly, a blue flash sprung from her hands.
thats worng Cool .

you could make 2 to 3 chapters talking about the history of antimage.
you know.....like the movie vantage point.
say something then go back as flashbacks.that would be cool Cool

the story was nice.
keep it up
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Blasting Illusions

Monster Kill Posts: 374 Joined: 05 Nov 2007 12887 gold



question: why is it Her? and not He? xD didn't know he was shemale xD
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Tsakaman

Godlike Posts: 1104 Joined: 27 Jul 2008 Warnings : 4 30561 gold



^two posts, I don't really know why, but magina looks much more a girl to me than a guy =/ sorry for those minor mistakes, will be corrected.
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dark_skyline

Killing Spree Posts: 88 Joined: 09 Jul 2009 Warnings : 1 4212 gold



i didn't like this, why KD must dead?

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Marina

Godlike Posts: 1569 Joined: 25 Sep 2008 Warnings : 1 43122 gold



great story i like it Smile

btw does this look like a girl to u? XD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POYoVerCgck

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Tokemus

Beyond Godlike Posts: 3061 Joined: 09 Feb 2007 Warnings : 3 49896 gold



O: Brilliant!
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Helix_[X]

Dominating Posts: 149 Joined: 25 Mar 2009 5947 gold



very nice.
love how you expanded the short fight into kind of a epic war between two forces or something. Reminds me of action movies. :>
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Tsakaman

Godlike Posts: 1104 Joined: 27 Jul 2008 Warnings : 4 30561 gold



@Marina: but the dota model looks a lot like a girl? maybe it's just me =/
@Toke: well, the first one was a cheap shot which i disliked too, cause the bell was about to ring and i was trying to hurry it up a bit =)

Overall, thanks and shall i continue this? Cause i have a lot of free time in class Laughing
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Ultimate_King

Monster Kill Posts: 486 Joined: 11 Feb 2009 19088 gold



magina looks like a female name that s why u think it s "her".

Ki egw olo h magina lew. Alla twra to dior8wsa :P
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